tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38554843427583565792024-03-13T08:44:38.926+00:00Mind MotionTONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.comBlogger471125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-51168870408269148032014-02-02T08:00:00.000+00:002014-02-02T08:00:08.767+00:00IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWUbMnQoz3XCetxUeuJ2fEfo_qIUL0-EwdBvO_e-qMwX5WEznvQEsW4ZcbaOb9k2pHaPQTHtueemq2wHH8piVM43FMMBGAHVXsuj8JhOSeG31-2jbMeTVvPzeuP7EhRxNtEfkREZnBeSU/s1600/question-mark-md.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWUbMnQoz3XCetxUeuJ2fEfo_qIUL0-EwdBvO_e-qMwX5WEznvQEsW4ZcbaOb9k2pHaPQTHtueemq2wHH8piVM43FMMBGAHVXsuj8JhOSeG31-2jbMeTVvPzeuP7EhRxNtEfkREZnBeSU/s1600/question-mark-md.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I'm thinking of simplifying my life by no longer writing these blogs...</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>unless of course, you would genuinely miss them</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>If this is the case please tweet me or DM if you're a follower at </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><a href="https://twitter.com/TonyLetts" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/TonyLetts</a></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Have a nice rest of your life :)</b></span></div>
TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-8193116802745934022014-01-29T08:00:00.000+00:002014-01-29T08:00:00.583+00:00NUTTY NEWS (11)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5QXqqf2qqlILuEUxy-53Ggt0clSDXSNcVr1BrZL7LeQr3PEQ-DNw13bxv1F_y_m7-UBvmoykPwSY3Jy_842Ts-jnqzI4MvP_LB4vzPrN5hHakzAwlblmZYTVsW3JO8pzisViXDDAy7Qo/s1600/no-fart-sign-md.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5QXqqf2qqlILuEUxy-53Ggt0clSDXSNcVr1BrZL7LeQr3PEQ-DNw13bxv1F_y_m7-UBvmoykPwSY3Jy_842Ts-jnqzI4MvP_LB4vzPrN5hHakzAwlblmZYTVsW3JO8pzisViXDDAy7Qo/s1600/no-fart-sign-md.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>When my lad was about 6 or so, he went through that boy stage of 'fart fixation'. He did them here there and everywhere. He was, for a while at least, the family fart champion.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Not so now. As I tiptoe into my dotage, I've discovered that I am developing this skill with every passing day. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>How I wish I had the ability back then to show him who was the daddy.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I have discovered though that even I have met my match. Try as I may there is no chance of me literally blowing the roof off my house.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>But I know a cow who can... <a href="http://metro.co.uk/2014/01/28/barn-explodes-due-to-farting-cows-4280780/" target="_blank">90 of them in fact</a>, whose farts started such a fire that they were nearly turned into steak and whoosh! - up went the roof.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>It's a funny old world.</b></span></div>
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TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-28179582679636216932014-01-26T08:00:00.000+00:002014-01-26T08:00:00.448+00:00NOTEWORTHY LYRICS (13)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMvPRlBJHSedYykXvjst5lB8UJCvi2Ajkn95jelP2UscAhD85mgVsH4YNAex_lgzoKOFEiA-etq0DWu81fTbhDUWJQnPbc9wV0qU9qLKooUqvQX5J4GsyfDfjb8WlmW5dRgdZ7ddonnF0/s1600/bedroom_eyes.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMvPRlBJHSedYykXvjst5lB8UJCvi2Ajkn95jelP2UscAhD85mgVsH4YNAex_lgzoKOFEiA-etq0DWu81fTbhDUWJQnPbc9wV0qU9qLKooUqvQX5J4GsyfDfjb8WlmW5dRgdZ7ddonnF0/s1600/bedroom_eyes.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>In which I highlight the poetry in popular songs -</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Lennon and McCartney wrote some hauntingly beautiful song lyrics. Paul penned this himself and John always said it was one of his personal favourites.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The story is of the end of a love affair and is incredibly sad...</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>"For No One"</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Your day breaks, your mind aches</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>You find that all the words of kindness linger on</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>When she no longer needs you</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>She wakes up, she makes up</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>She takes her time and doesn't feel she has to hurry</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>She no longer needs you</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>And in her eyes you see nothing</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>No sign of love behind the tears</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Cried for no one</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>A love that should have lasted years</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>You want her, you need her</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>And yet you don't believe her when she said her love is dead</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>You think she needs you</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>And in her eyes you see nothing</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>No sign of love behind the tears</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Cried for no one</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>A love that should have lasted years</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>You stay home, she goes out</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>She says that long ago she knew someone but now he's gone</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>She doesn't need him</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Your day breaks, your mind aches</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>There will be time when all the things she said will fill your head</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>You won't forget her</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>And in her eyes you see nothing</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>No sign of love behind the tears</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Cried for no one</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>A love that should have lasted years</i></b></span></div>
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TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-20375224873120286332014-01-22T08:00:00.000+00:002014-01-22T08:00:09.715+00:00NOT APPY<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG1oKgdaJ6S3rnE9TloPRnbnQU3MvDTdn5aPLK_Xu4qh-hHI4f_TQBG_2uhCIyCG8t01je5XiN5FGTZnDkrS9lfSjnKaN7hZt4MJT_hLG6UD0qo5__J5MYPkYnBS7cJyakqWN7PbmsDh4/s1600/girl_dresses_cat_big_hat.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG1oKgdaJ6S3rnE9TloPRnbnQU3MvDTdn5aPLK_Xu4qh-hHI4f_TQBG_2uhCIyCG8t01je5XiN5FGTZnDkrS9lfSjnKaN7hZt4MJT_hLG6UD0qo5__J5MYPkYnBS7cJyakqWN7PbmsDh4/s1600/girl_dresses_cat_big_hat.png" height="241" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Right Mum's and Dad's - are you sitting comfortably?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Today we're going to look at the best apps for young girls - say 9 years and upwards. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">OK so we have '</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Scarlett and the Spark of Life', an exciting adventure in which a princess rescues herself. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Or how about 'Style Studio: Fashion Designer' which speaks for itself. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Similar is 'Maya's Dress Up' which reminds me of those paper dolls which I secretly changed the clothes on when I was knee high to a grasshopper.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>If these aren't exciting enough why not let your daughter try <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/25741350" target="_blank">'Plastic surgery for Barbie'</a>? What could be more fun than taking a fat Barbie and giving her a surgical tummy tuck or DIY liposuction.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Incredible isn't it? Think about it. Someone actually had the idea to create such a horrendous app for young girls. Next, even more incredibly, they persuaded others to promote and market it and it got to be available on the app store.</b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There has been such an outcry that it is no longer available but why was it ever there in the first place?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">How could it be that there ever existed, as <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2014/jan/17/plastic-surgery-apps-for-little-girls-horrendous-sexism?CMP=twt_gu" target="_blank">Laura Bates</a> puts it so eloquently "</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>apps that suggested to little girls that their bodies might not be good enough, that being thin was all that mattered, and that being fat would make you unhappy and disgusting. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The apps that sent the message to little girls as young as nine that women are primarily judged on what they look like. That seemed to tell them the way to make themselves happy and beautiful again was simple – they just needed to let somebody cut away at them with a knife until all the parts that were unacceptable to society had been sucked out or lopped clean off."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Our society is sick and in urgent need of repair. Is there an app for that?</b></span></div>
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TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-55372975262823623702014-01-19T08:00:00.000+00:002014-01-19T08:00:08.525+00:00NOTEWORTHY LYRICS (12)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>In which I highlight the poetry in popular song lyrics. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>However, we should remember that within poetry, comic verse also has it's place.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>This old song often runs round my mind but I only know the line: 'Aunty Mary had a canary up the leg of her drawers...'.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I've always been curious as to what the poor bird was doing there.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The tune is the same as 'Cock o' the north'. This was penned some 300 years ago as 'Jumping Joan'.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>There are several variations including</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>'Auntie Mary had a canary up the leg of her drawers</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>While she was sleeping he was peeping</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Up the leg of her drawers</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Uncle Charlie had some barley</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Up the leg of his drawers</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>If you don' t believe me you can feel me</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Up the leg of my drawers' </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>and also:</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>'Aunty Mary had a canary</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Up the leg of her drawers,</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>When she farted it departed</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Down the leg of her drawers.'</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>So I'll probably never know how the wretched bird got there.</b></span></div>
TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-27995431180399440682014-01-15T08:00:00.000+00:002014-01-15T08:00:12.143+00:00THE FULL ENGLISH (32)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmf2-bWLYJYLhMD1cnaV0GyaP97jdl1ZjbI0kOA5_ks-jXw3HcBzI1lTduOcThWoMkOVg6m-OutlFsXpEy2R45JHc2NiQqzqXAFeBfbNwS_KNcxg8GV1XWRLO1c0mIAQxDkojiFrLxS1Y/s1600/Backpack_(Green_Brown).svg.med.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmf2-bWLYJYLhMD1cnaV0GyaP97jdl1ZjbI0kOA5_ks-jXw3HcBzI1lTduOcThWoMkOVg6m-OutlFsXpEy2R45JHc2NiQqzqXAFeBfbNwS_KNcxg8GV1XWRLO1c0mIAQxDkojiFrLxS1Y/s1600/Backpack_(Green_Brown).svg.med.png" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This one is a phrase I use a lot. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When I want to say 'absolutely everything', an alternative is to say 'the whole kit and caboodle'. It's a </span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>common phrase and I hear it used a lot.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>What puzzles me slightly is what it was about this particular phrase which so caught the imagination that it is still in popular use well over a hundred years after it was coined.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>First things first - what does it literally mean?</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Well 'the whole kit' means a set of items, like a tool<u>kit</u>, or what a soldier would keep in his <u>kit</u>-bag. A 'caboodle' (or just 'boodle') - is an archaic term meaning a group or collection, normally of people.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Origins are certainly American and certainly from the early 19th century but the first use of the phrase in the way we use it was this:</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>From the Syracuse Sunday Standard, New York, Nov, 1884:</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"More audiences have been disappointed by him and by the whole kit-and-caboodle of his rivals."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The reasons why the phrase came to be used in this way are rather sketchy so if anyone knows the full details please let me know - then I shall have the whole kit and caboodle.</b></span></div>
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TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-87439439113900204932014-01-12T08:00:00.000+00:002014-01-12T08:00:05.722+00:00THE SOUND OF OOZE SICK<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4uXIyi0BOHUuCevUfxj_A6NMkcP4QRbsM6wwLyOa8lVQnjSKOurzoku5EhHhZwWrVKsCA8fXzoGN_or2JN9VDqkllEZ58myhQU49zH4ufsdRpoBCUcde7Osq9STdHBP6WKEJA9oe7e0A/s1600/note.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4uXIyi0BOHUuCevUfxj_A6NMkcP4QRbsM6wwLyOa8lVQnjSKOurzoku5EhHhZwWrVKsCA8fXzoGN_or2JN9VDqkllEZ58myhQU49zH4ufsdRpoBCUcde7Osq9STdHBP6WKEJA9oe7e0A/s200/note.png" width="122" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>There's nothing new under the sun. While my better half was watching 'The Sound of Music' and 'How do you solve a problem like Maria' was echoing all over the house, I dreamed up this little parody:</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>How do you solve a problem like Diarrhoea?</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>How do you stop your pants from turning brown?</i></b></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>How do you find a word that means </b></span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Diarrhoea</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>?</b></span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>'The runs', 'The trots' , which always bring you down.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Many a time you wish you hadn't farted</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Wished that your ankles wore elastic bands</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>But how do you find a way</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>To make it all go away</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Without it getting all over your hands?</i></b></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Oh, how do you solve a problem like </b></span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Diarrhoea</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>?</b></span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b></b></i></span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">Without it getting all over your hands?</span></i></b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6e-XrxrnH8" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">Then I discovered this :(</span></a></b></div>
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TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-79207228412314972312014-01-08T08:00:00.000+00:002014-01-08T08:00:08.159+00:00BEING RESOLUTE<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkxlVpkDMMnORj_dtk2YlhuMu9RrUS3-vOVuOJukTOEl4oEu_E8dLTVpGLIwQovHnC8cQfNzEc_AD3gwNB0F9NhCV8gjmvEtWp1dvYyC5hBRtF2G61AziuVXFp3bmVQSFRO0Lxm6SjgUc/s1600/smoking_inv.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkxlVpkDMMnORj_dtk2YlhuMu9RrUS3-vOVuOJukTOEl4oEu_E8dLTVpGLIwQovHnC8cQfNzEc_AD3gwNB0F9NhCV8gjmvEtWp1dvYyC5hBRtF2G61AziuVXFp3bmVQSFRO0Lxm6SjgUc/s320/smoking_inv.png" width="319" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">No doubt some of you have made New Year resolutions.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I just have the one - not to make any. I just </span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>can't bear the sense of failure when - well when you fail.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>If you must make one I hope it's to give up smoking. I'm one of those pious ex-smokers who now feel that it's an obnoxious habit but if you are addicted, I feel your pain.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Here are my tips for how to give it up. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>1. Plan ahead. In my case I allowed 14 years for this. I was a cigarette smoker and knew that one day I would want to give up. I also knew that I would find it impossible to do so given my absolute dependence on my fags. Then I devised my cunning plan. It occurred to me that giving up a pipe should be easier because pipe-smokers are already used to going for a few hours without smoking. So I switched to a pipe. Then 14 years later I gave it up.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>2. Give up pipe-smoking. <a href="http://mind-motion.blogspot.co.uk/2011/05/all-puffed-out.html" target="_blank">This is explained here</a>.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>What's that you say? You're female and women don't smoke pipes? <a href="http://pipelovinladies.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">Think again</a>.</b></span></div>
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TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-91912509162405775152014-01-05T08:00:00.000+00:002014-01-05T08:00:08.754+00:00THE FULL ENGLISH (31)<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmoYFFWpUgpHqbhbVk7Y_9y5x1bS8ChRh9ZUf91_3vJ1UXQFg_IQggev7qa0xCh7E_cpJN_1Pk5cePEl6LlvuDWDpghF1QlZ0NRceLmJGwlKyi9HV3J-Ndlfl49BKvMY7_YZtdtdwGaY0/s1600/new+penny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmoYFFWpUgpHqbhbVk7Y_9y5x1bS8ChRh9ZUf91_3vJ1UXQFg_IQggev7qa0xCh7E_cpJN_1Pk5cePEl6LlvuDWDpghF1QlZ0NRceLmJGwlKyi9HV3J-Ndlfl49BKvMY7_YZtdtdwGaY0/s320/new+penny.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I suppose we all have relatives who are, shall we say, less welcome guests than others. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My Grandmother used to say of my uncle, 'he always turns up like a bad penny'. Most people know the phrase but what does it mean and what are its origins?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">One wrong suggestion which I've encountered is that it is to do with tossing a coin. Because there is a version of the phrase which goes 'a bad penny always turns up' some think it means that a bad penny keeps being heads or tails instead of giving a 50-50 chance.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The actual origin is at least from the 18th century when pennies were valuable coins. </span></b><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This made them juicy targets for counterfeiters, and discovering that you had such a counterfeit coin, a “bad” penny, was very annoying. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The best solution if you got a “bad penny” was to try to spend it quickly and hope that the shopkeeper wouldn't notice it. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Unfortunately though, because so many people were trying to use their “bad pennies” this way, the odds of encountering one, or even the very same one you had got rid of a week earlier, were quite high. Thus “bad penny” became an idiom meaning “an unwanted thing that keeps showing up.”</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Just like my Uncle used to do.</span></b></div>
TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-5341483713192819642014-01-01T08:00:00.000+00:002014-01-01T08:00:10.313+00:00NOTEWORTHY LYRICS (11)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXGd0_71r1NxRXS78k9kMSMRwiwEvpWaocps4f0BHIPIHPrwoLOMRm-4sK8oWmOgwtofAnnl7kjxMsR8MBMBNjV8WSIhWWt4dsgm1_56aZ8vbFCxZnKkEmOOPm902ux2U8Ie5etUbcD9w/s1600/brokenheart-md.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXGd0_71r1NxRXS78k9kMSMRwiwEvpWaocps4f0BHIPIHPrwoLOMRm-4sK8oWmOgwtofAnnl7kjxMsR8MBMBNjV8WSIhWWt4dsgm1_56aZ8vbFCxZnKkEmOOPm902ux2U8Ie5etUbcD9w/s1600/brokenheart-md.png" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In which I highlight the poetry in favourite song lyrics. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Singer, songwriter and in my opinion - poet, Adele is one of my absolute favourite </span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>artists. She wrote this with Dan Wilson and it will surely be a classic for a very long time.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><u>"Someone Like You"</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I heard that you're settled down</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>That you found a girl and you're married now.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I heard that your dreams came true.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Old friend, why are you so shy?</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>That for me it isn't over.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Never mind, I'll find someone like you</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I wish nothing but the best for you too</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Don't forget me, I beg</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I remember you said,</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>You know how the time flies</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Only yesterday was the time of our lives</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>We were born and raised</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>In a summer haze</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Bound by the surprise of our glory days</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>That for me it isn't over.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Never mind, I'll find someone like you</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I wish nothing but the best for you too</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Don't forget me, I beg</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I remember you said,</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Nothing compares</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>No worries or cares</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Regrets and mistakes</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>They are memories made.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Never mind, I'll find someone like you</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I wish nothing but the best for you</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Don't forget me, I beg</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I remember you said,</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Never mind, I'll find someone like you</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I wish nothing but the best for you too</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Don't forget me, I beg</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I remember you said,</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-73279377632597774412013-12-29T08:00:00.000+00:002013-12-29T08:00:02.888+00:00NUTTY NEWS (10)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirNFtWodvwC8vv7HbKFk-fGCqdCWiFTfrBxtvGkEpvjQVwzedTujdez6WN6S9uAJm41EqL4-W_8dAxi5HvqI_9VnNg_m-Zb_au4cWWdlE4FF6JDwDcQM7hn1wWsXZ9EOtFEfiW9e57yE4/s1600/postbox-md.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirNFtWodvwC8vv7HbKFk-fGCqdCWiFTfrBxtvGkEpvjQVwzedTujdez6WN6S9uAJm41EqL4-W_8dAxi5HvqI_9VnNg_m-Zb_au4cWWdlE4FF6JDwDcQM7hn1wWsXZ9EOtFEfiW9e57yE4/s1600/postbox-md.png" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I live near Cheltenham, home to </span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b> eight out of 20 original Victorian Penfold pillar boxes still existing in the UK.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I mention this because I've recently discovered that when I take the trouble to write a letter and then stamp the envelope before trudging out of the house to post it, I could have been saving my energy.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>It seems that P.G.Wodehouse, of Bertie Wooster and Jeeves fame, never bothered to go out to post his letters but merely tossed them out of the window. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>He trusted in his fellow citizens to take them to a post box and do the job for him which inevitably they did.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><a href="http://www.gloucestershireecho.co.uk/Cheltenham-passes-PG-Wodehouse-letter-test/story-20361394-detail/story.html" target="_blank">The Gloucestershire Echo</a> has tried the method out in Cheltenham with great success - 83% of the letters being dutifully posted.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I can only say that it's a good job they didn't try it round here. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>My neighbours would have had a field day steaming off the stamps for re-use.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-38128505449019417192013-12-25T08:00:00.000+00:002013-12-25T08:00:16.761+00:00HO HO HO<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2VumFMuUs5g3gTrK1ITsIEplDowgEIUTQMIDO9afvwixDsct8jea_tWUioHNCiq2GzQ5Yxp4WJ5_DDbHfG5uJ_HckEoZtNR7oq0xPND-BH8eVR9jju6ECq22PcCINDYg72NUVdOYruH8/s1600/Santa_hat_smiley.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2VumFMuUs5g3gTrK1ITsIEplDowgEIUTQMIDO9afvwixDsct8jea_tWUioHNCiq2GzQ5Yxp4WJ5_DDbHfG5uJ_HckEoZtNR7oq0xPND-BH8eVR9jju6ECq22PcCINDYg72NUVdOYruH8/s1600/Santa_hat_smiley.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>A few giggles for Christmas…</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>'Snowball' by </b></span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shel Silverstein</b></span></u></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I made myself a snowball,</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>As perfect as could be,</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I thought I'd keep it as a pet,</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>And let it sleep with me.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I made it some pyjamas,</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>And a pillow for its head,</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Then last night it ran away,</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>But first - it wet the bed!</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>*****</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>'Thank You' by </b></span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">William Church</b></span></u></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>For your Christmas presents,</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I thank you one and all.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>For the big ones many thanks,</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>And fewer for the small.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>*****</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>- George Carlin </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>*****</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>- Gary Allan </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>*****</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>“Mail your parcels early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.” – Johnny Carson</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>*****</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>*****</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>*****</b></span></div>
TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-88662311676193217572013-12-22T08:00:00.000+00:002013-12-22T08:00:10.159+00:00CHRISTMAS CONTEST<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw0rmSvSizRAFvCoZYOq5hiXR9SzDI50P68F45K6UEP-2T4t5B1uVz6XxH_0LJoBz-Vo5LMySfsdjMnr6sHlGQzOprIdTgdCTiiDyTBC1hOAJhJBE5oHfUVDy9xf7G8ExmsBGSaTqqEqU/s1600/christmas_gift.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw0rmSvSizRAFvCoZYOq5hiXR9SzDI50P68F45K6UEP-2T4t5B1uVz6XxH_0LJoBz-Vo5LMySfsdjMnr6sHlGQzOprIdTgdCTiiDyTBC1hOAJhJBE5oHfUVDy9xf7G8ExmsBGSaTqqEqU/s320/christmas_gift.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>We are blessed with having two one-year olds with us for Christmas. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>All is ready. The tree is shining with lights and baubles. Decorations adorn the room. The kitchen is packed with festive food. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Under the tree there are a large number of presents destined for the two tiddlers and this leaves the question - which will be the favourite present of all?</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Will it be the brightly coloured wrapping paper which easily tears to shreds with lovely ripping noises? </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Perhaps it will be the lovely bubble wrap inside some of the parcels which waits patiently to be popped. That's if the adults don't all pop it first in a pretence of showing the kids how to do it.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Then there's the cardboard with shiny cellophane windows so you can see what's inside.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>No - my vote is for the silver or gold foil which not only makes lovely crispy noises when you scrunch it but has the added bonus of being shiny too. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Just such a shame that each of these things has some sort of junk inside it which you have to toss aside so as to get to the wrapping.</b></span></div>
TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-5990187674867067572013-12-15T08:00:00.000+00:002013-12-15T08:00:10.282+00:00NUTTY NEWS (9)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC1f2H5rTtwf-HYVoq92KF77rRJ4o8qX_Ui5q4S63uv0A6EuFLU-FrkcPRhyuOIaML-i_pPS3zrsoc5i_GKhfrzL01G4SpUwDJDOLkWJPpcwmKB7t0aastK1ElCkq_6jfrn5UHc4Rfxsc/s1600/peanut_pile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC1f2H5rTtwf-HYVoq92KF77rRJ4o8qX_Ui5q4S63uv0A6EuFLU-FrkcPRhyuOIaML-i_pPS3zrsoc5i_GKhfrzL01G4SpUwDJDOLkWJPpcwmKB7t0aastK1ElCkq_6jfrn5UHc4Rfxsc/s320/peanut_pile.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This time the nutty news is literally 'nutty'. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It seems that Her Majesty the Queen is rather partial to a crafty cashew or two. She has a very savoury tooth and enjoys the odd pick of the pistachios. Accordingly, bowls of nuts are distributed freely around Buck House in case the Queen wishes to partake of a pecan or two.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Imagine her disappointment when she discovered that her nibbles were being nicked. </span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Just when she fancied a wallow in the walnuts she found that they had gone. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Just to prove that she wasn't losing her marbles she began marking a line on the side of the bowl and soon had clear proof that they were being purloined.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The guilty party? Her own police force when on security duties, were <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-25344656" target="_blank">pinching her peanuts</a> which explained why she had to keep shelling out for more.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Perhaps the police should be given a pay rise - after all if you pay peanuts...</b></span></div>
TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-25350552064485043382013-12-11T08:00:00.000+00:002013-12-11T08:00:01.788+00:00WISH I'D SAID THAT<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitWb5nVotuoFVbyCXGnwmZ3zUAohfzWHGHu-iNL7gDhQp1XARd0FP_P8ogmzzbqH21WZQ9wRhZidLVKQpQq70WiXXS_OyV8KSjENvgwAKI8tuMEYoV58KqGDLSs1EIu2FxdvYDxGrfTW8/s1600/question-mark-md.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitWb5nVotuoFVbyCXGnwmZ3zUAohfzWHGHu-iNL7gDhQp1XARd0FP_P8ogmzzbqH21WZQ9wRhZidLVKQpQq70WiXXS_OyV8KSjENvgwAKI8tuMEYoV58KqGDLSs1EIu2FxdvYDxGrfTW8/s1600/question-mark-md.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Wise words spoken by who?</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Let freedom reign. The sun never set on so glorious a human achievement.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul than the way in which it treats its children.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Money won't create success, the freedom to make it will."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Nelson Mandela - (1918-2013)</b></span></div>
TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-41240501996000065652013-12-08T08:00:00.000+00:002013-12-08T08:00:03.777+00:00COMPLETELY CRACKERS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMwP14wE2m2P5oRN8EbZY4ESL1Xh9YTR3RNB8sUey8bck4IPkbZBd_wQ0CTg-4u6KUPXphM7dLTKqL1ZqHA3l5T_NWuC0YWizsJdebhwdihnbDGBSkw4J5tNb7nIJ0XhR_418AtuxApyo/s1600/cracker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMwP14wE2m2P5oRN8EbZY4ESL1Xh9YTR3RNB8sUey8bck4IPkbZBd_wQ0CTg-4u6KUPXphM7dLTKqL1ZqHA3l5T_NWuC0YWizsJdebhwdihnbDGBSkw4J5tNb7nIJ0XhR_418AtuxApyo/s320/cracker.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Usually when you pull a Christmas cracker, out pops a joke and a silly hat. However when I pulled one the other day I got a history lesson.</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Luckily, I like history so was intrigued to discover how the Christmas cracker came to be and who invented it. These are the details:</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>“<span style="text-decoration: underline;">The History of Tom Smith</span></i></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i> </i><i>It
was on a trip to Paris in 1840 that an adventurous and forward-thinking
Tom Smith discovered the “bon-bon” sugared almond, wrapped in a twist
of tissue paper. Seven years later this simple idea evolved into the Christmas Cracker.</i><i> </i></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>By
placing a small love motto in the tissue paper he created enormous
interest in this product, especially at Christmas and it was during a
search for inspiration to achieve even greater sales that he casually
threw a log on the fire. The
crackle sound, made by the burning log, gave him the idea that would
eventually lead to the crackers we know and love today. After a great deal of hard work and experimentation, he came up with a cracking mechanism that created a “pop” as the “bon-bon” wrapping was broken. This eventually became the snap and the cracker was born.</i></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>Over the
next few years his idea evolved and grew and he moved from his original
premises in Clerkenwell, East London, to Finsbury Square in the City.
His sons, Tom, Walter and Henry took over the business when he died and
later a drinking fountain was erected in Finsbury Square by Walter, in
memory of his mother and to commemorate the man who invented the
Christmas Cracker.</i></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>It was Walter who introduced the paper hats and he toured the world to find new and unusual ideas for the gifts.</i></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>The
Company was very aware of current affairs and crackers were created for
Suffragettes, War Heroes, Charlie Chaplin, the Coronation and many
other great occasions. Exclusive crackers were also made for the Royal Family and still are to this day”</i></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Care to pull my cracker your Majesty? </span><i><br /></i></span></b></span></div>
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TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-80119645376205979572013-12-04T08:00:00.000+00:002013-12-04T08:00:06.134+00:00THE FULL ENGLISH (30)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVHCQCPZju72u51Z-6wUratXkX6FLIHKqDakB_yx46oNQV50YCjOzygfOq9ddXbuwSbr7drV_zwTH8y472dX9tzA0J6UQnnNXUEgD_WBdWdHCheLNe9E-SiffDlBXI2lORr_UW-kqtrYk/s1600/wren.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVHCQCPZju72u51Z-6wUratXkX6FLIHKqDakB_yx46oNQV50YCjOzygfOq9ddXbuwSbr7drV_zwTH8y472dX9tzA0J6UQnnNXUEgD_WBdWdHCheLNe9E-SiffDlBXI2lORr_UW-kqtrYk/s200/wren.png" width="200" /> </a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>I used to pride myself on being able to read Chaucer in the old English with an accent which hopefully, our beloved Geoffrey would have recognised.</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>I had fun practising on the original of this phrase: 'Every little helps'. Still in common use today and the meaning is very clear but the origin?</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Well as far as I can discover it was:</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>'Every little helps said the wren when she pissed in the sea.' </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>A wren of course is a very tiny bird but her little contribution helped to keep up the sea levels.</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>But in 1623 the olde English version was:</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>'</b></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Euery thing helpes, quoth the Wren when she pist i' the sea.'</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Even earlier in 1602 they seem to have been a little more reluctant to use the bawdy words so we had:</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>'</b></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>The wrenn sayde all helpte when she — in the sea.'</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>See what a prudish nation we used to be. </b></span></span></div>
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TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-77473640906734317722013-12-01T08:00:00.000+00:002013-12-01T08:00:04.316+00:00THE BUTTERFLY<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiyw4oYaO-B8xCD30eHCJymsu2rktr4BDOi9Tw2AiEqnB_MpwYtkY0sGI3pjEq-WnEAVV24OY05MwQi33qGucQVndzKf1VZ0Vch5SjF3b-lCGd1I1Q32uNr2zXE0GwyaJIUI383HuCG58/s1600/butterfly_on_twig.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiyw4oYaO-B8xCD30eHCJymsu2rktr4BDOi9Tw2AiEqnB_MpwYtkY0sGI3pjEq-WnEAVV24OY05MwQi33qGucQVndzKf1VZ0Vch5SjF3b-lCGd1I1Q32uNr2zXE0GwyaJIUI383HuCG58/s200/butterfly_on_twig.png" width="200" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I found this story very touching and wanted to share - author unknown.</span></span></b></div>
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<u><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The story of the butterfly</span></span></b></u></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.<br />
One day a small opening appeared.<br />
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.<br />
Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.</span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So the man decided to help the butterfly.<br />
He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon. The butterfly emerged easily but it had a swollen body and shrivelled wings.</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> The man continued to watch it,</span></span></b><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge and expand enough to support the body.</span></span></b></div>
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Neither happened!<br />
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around. It was never able to fly.</span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand:<br />
The restricting cocoon and the struggle required by the butterfly to get through the opening was a way of forcing the fluid from the body into the wings so that it would be ready for flight once that was achieved.</span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us. We will not be as strong as we could have been and we would never fly.</span></span></b></div>
TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-86348147994713101402013-11-27T08:00:00.000+00:002013-11-27T08:00:06.285+00:00THE OLD ONES ARE THE BEST<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLtvgV_kLWbdSf_SxQyLXcuVg9vL9dQvKAe1OCGEDBZiOMEc2AX4yqnfIZKVUJP0ekvzsYZCliR9hglinJCdGc4bE4qhzcQfAdqRpXKwIW4wm4ZQkPyGvrpjNX4ajJsABXbK8JvvmANfA/s1600/old-man-cartoon-md.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLtvgV_kLWbdSf_SxQyLXcuVg9vL9dQvKAe1OCGEDBZiOMEc2AX4yqnfIZKVUJP0ekvzsYZCliR9hglinJCdGc4bE4qhzcQfAdqRpXKwIW4wm4ZQkPyGvrpjNX4ajJsABXbK8JvvmANfA/s200/old-man-cartoon-md.png" width="154" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I recognised a long time ago that although I have my moments, other people are usually funnier than I am.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>With this in mind, let me offer you these items of evidence on the subject of old age:</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>Don't let ageing get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>Age mellows some people; others it makes rotten. - Anonymous</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>I'm 59 and people call me middle aged. How many 118 year old men do you know? - Barry Cryer</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... - Sir Norman Wisdom</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>There is absolutely nothing to be said in favour of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it. - Patrick Moore</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labelled senile. - George Burns</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer. - Robert Quillen</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate. - Nancy Astor</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas'. - Claude Pepper</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>You know you're getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work. - Hy Gardner</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>I'm so old they've canceled my blood type. - Bob Hope</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity. - Tom Stoppard</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>Respect old people. They graduated from school without Google or Wikipedia. - Unknown</i></b></span></div>
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TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-54991758951372591432013-11-24T08:00:00.000+00:002013-11-24T08:00:11.557+00:00SMALL CHANGE<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTQsqx7KbgIvKPKcfpRCHWHO60x1C-F6r7hDMf1LI298NLk30zSpcAy_qmz-OnnAs7CqqpEozpPoa4H-U7DcHCQoXhkQATjMh-JnitE7bVW2VReMtSREmFhLChy98lbVTcB5kXhow07Z0/s1600/coins_5.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTQsqx7KbgIvKPKcfpRCHWHO60x1C-F6r7hDMf1LI298NLk30zSpcAy_qmz-OnnAs7CqqpEozpPoa4H-U7DcHCQoXhkQATjMh-JnitE7bVW2VReMtSREmFhLChy98lbVTcB5kXhow07Z0/s1600/coins_5.png" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jingle jangle, jingle jangle - it does my head in. I'm talking about coins and all the shrapnel you collect in your pockets.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The traders try to make us feel things are cheap by pricing everything at £3.99 or £4.99 which means you keep getting a penny change.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Like most men, I drop my coins in a little tray at night and then stick it all back in my pocket the next morning and off I go, jingle jangling down the street.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Well not any more. Now I have two coin trays. I put all the small change in one and the serious stuff in the other. As soon as the small coins add up to 10p I take them out and spend them.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Why has it taken me over half a century to think of doing this?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I pay £1.30 to play table tennis so sometimes I pay with a £1 coin, a 20p coin and ten 1p coins. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">They must be so glad to have the small change from me occasionally don't you think?</span></b></div>
TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-3484567530130590702013-11-20T08:00:00.000+00:002013-11-20T08:00:00.491+00:00NUTTY NEWS (8)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisPurc-aRkWDtLZb9f-0QqTR0LAt4Ay6tdgcZu2mfoBVeW3__Zorov9JtVrmnjAxvsuthCO6Ja8ZsBPltps0lERK5iLycs3TjUZ_GmsfHgEOD5aqO-shOfizs-qhOVwk26Vh-iLU99inM/s1600/swiss_basic.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="129" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisPurc-aRkWDtLZb9f-0QqTR0LAt4Ay6tdgcZu2mfoBVeW3__Zorov9JtVrmnjAxvsuthCO6Ja8ZsBPltps0lERK5iLycs3TjUZ_GmsfHgEOD5aqO-shOfizs-qhOVwk26Vh-iLU99inM/s200/swiss_basic.png" width="200" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am very fond of cheese. My preference is for the milder but tasty varieties rather than the 'blow your head off' cheddar which my wife prefers. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">On my recent visit to Annecy I was introduced to Comté cheese, a local speciality, which suited me beautifully. I also love Raclette. Both have a lot of taste and yet are subtly delicious.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One cheese which I probably won't be trying though is a new creation called '<a href="http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/new-christmas-dinner-flavour-cheese-2808580" target="_blank">Christmas dinner cheese</a>'. Who have thought it? Apparently it contains </span></b><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">tastes of turkey flavouring, carrots, Brussels sprouts, festive fruit, candied cherries and apple in a block of Pilgrims Choice Cheddar cheese.</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>There is also a 'Christmas Pudding' cheese which includes brandy-soaked sultanas, raisins and currants, candied cherries and apple, cinnamon and a special Christmas liqueur.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Can you imagine the family's reaction when they sit down to Christmas dinner, pull their crackers and are then presented with a slice of cheese?</b></span></div>
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TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-76457643714615000662013-11-17T08:00:00.000+00:002013-11-17T08:00:11.376+00:00NOTEWORTHY LYRICS (10)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio2PmdWps8kTOJuuPhdf3EcVbBmelGv8mt3UpIKQcL4H3YJORp5a-wQ73WXXgBx3vtUto_6ccI7I-AvZubmctu3yVm8QA9Tt0GDuj9ekCbJSU81WAWDO4Hb79s5U7pSuitjRov4CHP7CQ/s1600/hate-thumb-md.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio2PmdWps8kTOJuuPhdf3EcVbBmelGv8mt3UpIKQcL4H3YJORp5a-wQ73WXXgBx3vtUto_6ccI7I-AvZubmctu3yVm8QA9Tt0GDuj9ekCbJSU81WAWDO4Hb79s5U7pSuitjRov4CHP7CQ/s200/hate-thumb-md.png" width="160" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>In which I extract the poetry from popular song lyrics.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Warning: If you are easily offended by bad language please piss off.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I've already cited <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kh2XKDj_eD0" target="_blank">'Passenger'</a>, a current favourite of mine, and this is another song which I've just discovered. The lyrics, by Michael David Rosenberg, are full </b></span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">of swearing, full of hate and full of brutal honesty. I love it.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i><u>I Hate</u></i></b></span></div>
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I hate racist blokes, telling tasteless jokes</div>
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And explaining where people belong</div>
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I hate ignorant folks, that pay money to see gigs</div>
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And then talk through every fucking song</div>
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I hate people in night clubs, snorting coke</div>
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And explaining where you're going wrong</div>
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And so if you agree, then come hating with me</div>
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And feel free to sing along</div>
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Well I hate pointless status updates on Facebook</div>
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FYI we were never "m8"s</div>
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We pretend to be friends on the internet</div>
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When in real life, we have nothing to say</div>
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To each other, oh brother I have love for my mother</div>
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For good times, for music and my mates</div>
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Yeah I laugh, and I live and I have love to give</div>
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But sometimes all you can do is hate</div>
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Well I hate them fussy eaters, you cook them fajitas</div>
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They only eat pizza and chips</div>
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I hate stepping outside, for a smoke and some guy</div>
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Coughs, like your lungs are his</div>
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And I hate queuing up, for festival toilets</div>
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Especially when you need a shit</div>
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And I hate the X-Factor, for murdering music</div>
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You bunch of money-grabbing pricks</div>
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<br /></div>
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...</div>
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<br /></div>
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And I hate them magazines, aimed at insecure teens</div>
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That make ten year old's race to grow up</div>
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Hey kids, let's all be anorexic or better</div>
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Eat chocolate until you throw up</div>
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Keep your Hollywood stars, and their stupid cars</div>
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And the Bo-tox, that makes them look fucked</div>
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Just grow old with grace, have you seen Cher's face</div>
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She looks like she's been hit by a truck</div>
</i></b></span></div>
TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-33833216159987634942013-11-13T08:00:00.000+00:002013-11-13T08:00:03.860+00:00STRIPES ARE THE NEW PLAIN<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqNIQ69C_HvJoW06Kz5NUu-Ucs7uN0O-gub1Ude71ylEbUkeCoAbL6nZ_xeYY_en2sv0SONjoV_BZQW5obFMdk0nZfAvAk4N6TCl518IdGajAUOskLSapJ9h8wPBdcC14hVO7MY3LldCA/s1600/Argyle_socks.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqNIQ69C_HvJoW06Kz5NUu-Ucs7uN0O-gub1Ude71ylEbUkeCoAbL6nZ_xeYY_en2sv0SONjoV_BZQW5obFMdk0nZfAvAk4N6TCl518IdGajAUOskLSapJ9h8wPBdcC14hVO7MY3LldCA/s200/Argyle_socks.png" width="141" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It was my birthday recently. Someone bought me socks.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>They obviously don't know me very well because they are long socks. I always wear ankle length.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>They are made from 71% Cotton, 26% Polyester and 3% Elastane. They clearly didn't know I always wear 100% Cotton.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Worse still, they are striped. Surely they realise I only ever wear plain.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>They didn't buy them from Marks and Spencer. I always buy my socks from them.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>When I say 'long socks' they are actually boot socks. I'm wearing boots and the new socks work well with them.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The material works perfectly to keep my feet feeling comfortable but not too hot.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>As for the stripes. My wife said they look great. Then she said 'Wearing stripy socks is one way for older people to have fun'.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Perhaps the person who gave me them knows me so well that she felt I was stuck in my ways and needed livening up.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Anyway, I'm off out to flash my socks in public. I know how to have a good time. </b></span></div>
TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-49904574582493787932013-11-10T08:00:00.000+00:002013-11-10T08:00:12.896+00:00IT'S RAINING CHOCOLATE<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Es8f0QB76e_voX2Ut5LPvPM9gtr5WuBPvQDGUzRY1iSUjxtm6cOVnIK_iCLR_f3WLdTywICwW8ungAREaF1WVO1PyA9S4dNCo0HNc7TzIXjOd0FcenOb5jJytMMkS0ligzFO2m0A7to/s1600/character__tp_Rolled.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Es8f0QB76e_voX2Ut5LPvPM9gtr5WuBPvQDGUzRY1iSUjxtm6cOVnIK_iCLR_f3WLdTywICwW8ungAREaF1WVO1PyA9S4dNCo0HNc7TzIXjOd0FcenOb5jJytMMkS0ligzFO2m0A7to/s320/character__tp_Rolled.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I often tend to write about issues which have been on my mind for a while. Unfortunately for you dear reader, my current preoccupation has been with my bowels.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I've been laid low with food poisoning and the associated effects of this and because I am a person who likes to share, I wanted you to hear about <a href="http://diarrheasong.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank">'The Official Diarrhea Song'</a>. (U.S. spelling).</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>This is an ongoing creation to which you can contribute by submitting your own verse.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I've selected a few examples.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>When you're on the seat for hours </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>and it doesn't smell like flowers: </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Diarrhea, diarrhea.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>When your stomach is in pain,</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>and you're making chocolate rain</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Diarrhea, diarrhea</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>When you're riding in a sleigh</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>And you hear something spray</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Diarrhea diarrhea </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>When you think your friends are joking </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>but your pants are brown and soaking: </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b></b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Diarrhea, diarrhea.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>When you think it's chicken soup </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>but it's really liquid poop. </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Diarrhea diarrhea</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Oops - sorry have to rush!</b></span></div>
TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3855484342758356579.post-73794214274556594012013-11-06T08:00:00.000+00:002013-11-06T08:00:09.689+00:00OUTLOOK: SETTLED<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfi5HCM8igfbDFUlNGx9vGpKS7RItJ62yM9pGj3gXZmUtSj8P4soz4C7_HIJEuvh51bQ64cAHEhIPCbibSUtlUIw1aid_-tTjbbP9BucWa10sHvXD4t5b20FZr7ZIS2VgsR-N_NVjVGRQ/s1600/finger_pointing_at_you.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfi5HCM8igfbDFUlNGx9vGpKS7RItJ62yM9pGj3gXZmUtSj8P4soz4C7_HIJEuvh51bQ64cAHEhIPCbibSUtlUIw1aid_-tTjbbP9BucWa10sHvXD4t5b20FZr7ZIS2VgsR-N_NVjVGRQ/s200/finger_pointing_at_you.png" width="190" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Its funny isn't it how things can change in a flash. One moment you're happily driving along the road and then suddenly you skid or an idiot driver collides with you and your life is turned upside down.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Many years ago w</span></b><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">hen my wife was expecting our first child she lovingly prepared the nursery in readiness and then a burst pipe poured through the ceiling ruining all her efforts.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Recently I have experienced more trials and tribulations. Life was good. I'd taken a new interest in the garden and my efforts had paid off as it was attracting compliments. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Grand-parenting was rewarding us richly and we had made a few home improvements which left us with a warm glow.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then the weather started to deteriorate. Halloween arrived along with crashes and bangs as fireworks were let off. A relative died. A funeral had to be fitted into an already busy schedule. Another relative died. Another funeral to accommodate. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Our health took a bad turn. The children's health, along with their babies also suffered. A treasured possession went missing. A couple of bulbs blew.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then a minor disaster as strong winds took down our treasured pergola and devastated our lovely garden.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When will it ever end? The answer is now. Listen here you fickle finger of fate - yes I'm pointing at you - is that the best you've got?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I shall repair the garden with renewed vigour. We will get healthy again. The weather will brighten up. I enjoyed the first funeral - bring on the next (as long as it's not mine).</span></b></div>
TONY LETTShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866408229170706032noreply@blogger.com0