Sunday 16 January 2011

HEAR HEAR

I bought my first record in 1957 but in the event, I'd have been better waiting a year because in 1958, the first stereophonic records became available. Impatient? Moi?

Of course stereo soon became the norm yet it is still possible to find a 'Mono' button on some music players. Presumably this is for total Luddites who yearn for those good old pre-1958 days when Lulu was only Lu.

Man is never happier than when he's 'improving' something don't you find? In time we were blessed with quadrophonic and surround sound. Lucky us. Mind you, I never like to experience surround sound in company because I feel such a fool when I duck to avoid the low-flying aircraft which I can hear approaching from behind me.

No doubt dear reader, you have a state of the art music system which makes you feel that you're in the middle of the Albert Hall - or Wembley arena depending on your music taste.

I can go one better than that. I have stereophonic newspapers. Ha! Admit it. You're jealous now aren't you? There I am busy reading my Times article about the horrendous price of fuel when my dear wife looks up from her perusal of the Daily Fascist and says 'Good God! £70 to fill your tank up now.'

Unfortunately the tuning is sometimes slightly out and she begins 'It says here that.....' then proceeds to repeat almost verbatim, the paragraph which I have just finished reading. This lack of synchronisation can have its funny side though. I was recently reading about the ongoing police investigation into a Bristol woman's murder when I suddenly heard 'Oh no! She was killed by an elephant on her honeymoon!"

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