Thursday, 2 July 2009


Soon after I first met my second wife (come on, keep up!), she made it clear that if our relationship was to continue, changes would have to be made. In particular, two items which I frequently used were to be banished forever.

The first of these were my cardigans, especially the one which had leather patches on the elbows. Quite what these useful and comfortable garments had done to offend the new lady of my dreams I have no idea, but out they went. (They later crept back into my wardrobe under the new name of fleeces).

The second item which had to be consigned to history were my belt bags. I had a black one and a brown one to blend with whatever colours I was wearing. They were larger than 'bum bags' - more the size and shape of a thick paperback book and they were made in a rather fetching faux glossy leather-look material. They were of course, extremely useful and as the name implies, were worn hanging from my belt. However, out they went leaving me with a storage problem. The things we do for love!

As a result of this arrangement, two things happened. Firstly, we got married. Secondly, I spent almost 19 years with a hard lump impressed into my right buttock (the wallet in my back pocket), and had two large protrusions on my hips caused by my bulging pockets. However, things have taken a turn for the better!

On a recent visit to London, my wife saw me struggling with a large grip bag over my shoulder which contained a variety of books, puzzles and other items to amuse me on the train journey. 'You look quite ridiculous with that great big bag slung round you - why don't you buy yourself a man bag?' she asked. 'You know, the type with a strap across your body - they are all the rage'. I could have kissed her! Within nano seconds of hitting the shops, I had a man bag slung across me and a new streamlined silhouette with no bulges and lumps about my person.

Now I have two bags (so far) which are my pride and joy. They have 'organiser' pockets all over the place and it is likely that any item that might possibly be needed, for virtually any purpose, lurks within. My only slight query is 'WHY THE HELL COULDN'T SHE HAVE SAID THAT 19 YEARS AGO!'


  1. Ah, yes, but if someone had said "man bag" 19 years ago, who knows what you would have ended up with!
    I'm still trying to convince my hubby he needs something similar. :)

  2. A man bag. Hmmm. I'll have to google that and see exactly what they look like.

    I have to say I did not make any demands upon my hubby to give up anything when we got married. No, actually, some of his stuff just mysteriously disappeared into the depths of the garage. :-)

  3. Ha ha! what a lovely story! I wonder if Chris could be persuaded to have a man bag! Then perhaps he won't give me all his extra things he needs, to carry! XX

  4. The other option is just have the wife carry everything. I'm glad my wife won't be reading this LOL

  5. It has to be OUR idea. Haven't you figured that out yet?? LOL

    My husband being a cowboy from Texas....would be run out of town if he were to wear any sort of bag. I think I'll get him one for his birthday just to see his face when he opens it. Ha!