Wednesday, 5 August 2009


My wife has been away for a few days so I've been 'home alone'. I have plenty to keep me amused and I've rarely ever suffered from boredom having many choices of activity available - computer, books, letter-writing, TV, music, gardening, newspapers, puzzles. The list is almost endless. I've lived on my own before marriage and was always perfectly happy with my own company. I'm reasonably domesticated and can cook, clean and so on.

So I wasn't really expecting to feel such a degree of emptiness in the house. There's no-one to touch base with. The places where she should be are vacant. There's no noise other than any I make myself.

The place is eerily tidy without the 'clutterbug' around (this being the name she calls herself!). I can go in the bathroom any time I need to without having to wait. I can play music when I want and as loud as I want. I can go out without explaining where and why.

Being a cheery soul, this has set me thinking about bereavement. My wife and I have talked about death and like many couples I'm sure, have agreed that we would ideally hope to die together so neither is left behind. We don't always get our wishes though do we? Since I am older than her, the odds are that I will drop off the perch first but what if it were the other way around? These few days are like a dummy run. I can give thought to how I would live on my own and what changes I would make in the house without the pain of having lost her.

I would obviously gain a good deal of space in the bathroom cabinet for all my lotions and potions. I would have lots of extra room in the wardrobe for my beloved shirts which are rather squashed in the space currently available - but knowing me, I'd just buy more shirts to fill the gaps.

There's no point in considering this any further. The bottom line is this: What a small price it is to put up with a few creased shirts and a bit of clutter for the delight of living with your best friend!


  1. We too have thought about the same things.Chris is the one who brings things into the house that I consider to be rubbish!
    I would not want to be without him as he too is my best friend.

  2. I'm the clutterbug in this household. Husband works abroad quite a lot, so often I'm here with Josh. But husband & I are NOT best friends and I literally RELISH the times he's away! But yours is a brave post ... very few couples consider what loneliness the future may hold & at least you & your best friend are giving it some thought.

  3. So true. I have been on my own more often than married, but on this, my 3rd marriage, I have learned the value of give and take even more, and also I do not quibble over small things. It just doesn't matter. My hubby loves to keep just about everything he acquires, so he is the pack rat while I am the one who prefers to avoid clutter. But you know? It just doesn't matter! I smile and let him keep his beloved "treasures". Who cares if the closets are overflowing? He is truly my best friend. I have already thought of the future and "what will I do without him?" I daresay I will miss him tremendously. He is a wonderful man, and that is truly an understatement.

  4. I've never lived on my own. It is rare that I have the house all to myself. Now you've got me wondering if when I go away without MHS if he wonders what things would be like if I were dead. Don't give him any ideas. :-)

  5. I think about those things too and being alone due to illness but with caring duties I wonder how either of us would cope