Vajacials. There I've said it. I know - I'm a man. I shouldn't even know the meaning of the word let alone write about it. So let's presume that I'm writing this as a guide for my fellow males ..... although I'm willing to bet there are a few ladies out there who hadn't heard of the word either.
I also have a working knowledge of euphemininisms. Good word eh? So before we discuss vajacials we need to learn the ladies' lexicon.
BRAZILIAN - easy one to start with. It is of course, a depilatory waxing treatment for a ....
LADIES' FRONT GARDEN - female pubic hair.
LANDING STRIP - one version of a Brazilian which leaves a thin vertical line of hair.
HOLLYWOOD - A full Brazilian - also known as a 'KOJAK' among ladies of a certain age.
BOLLYWOOD - You thought it was an Indian musical? Yes but it's also a 'Hollywood' with added jewellery.
AXE WOUND, BEAVER, BOX, VADGE - slang terms for vagina (an almost endless list)
LITTLE PRINCESS, LITTLE MAN IN A BOAT - slang terms for clitoris (there are plenty more)
OK enough with the words before I keel over in a faint. Back to vajacials. If you didn't already know, it's a facial for a ladies front garden. Eve's daughters can now book in for their pedicure and get their bushes trimmed at the same time. As with hair styles, they can even browse through a portfolio of style options and pick their preferred choice. " I'll have the spider's web please, with a candy pink tinge ".
Men, aren't you glad we're male? Oh and guys. Before you all go trooping off to apply for a job at the local beauty salon, I'm pretty sure that the sex discrimination act doesn't apply here - sorry.