Showing posts with label texts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label texts. Show all posts

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

LESS IS MORE

I suppose the idea of sending instant, brief messages started with the Morse telegraph, which was patented in 1837. The first such message, sent in 1838, read: "A patient waiter is no loser". I think that for such a historic message, a little more work was required.

Some people, my dear wife among them, seem not to have grasped the concept of texting. While driving, I become aware that she has been tapping on her phone for what seems like an age. On enquiry I discover that this is a text to darling daughter which has just reached chapter 3. If I suggest that an actual phone call might have been a better option, I'm told that she didn't want to disturb her by ringing her. (Sigh).

Number one son is the opposite. A typical text from him reads "C U l8ter". In my opinion, this takes things too far.

The "Drive time" radio programme has an interesting slant on brevity by asking listeners to sum up their day in just three words. It's fascinating how much can be said in just words. "Had scan - GIRL!", "Just got fired", "Daughter got engaged" are just a few examples.

Brief can be beautiful too and has been made an art form by those clever Japanese in the form of Haiku. My favourite example goes like this:

"A trout leaps,
Clouds are moving
In the bed of the stream" (Onitsura).

I love the way Nature is reversed with the trout leaping above the clouds.

So in general, I would make a plea for a degree of minimalism - except of course, when pouring me a glass of wine.

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

LOTS OF LOVE

Bob Hope once said.... "People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy". I wonder what he'd have thought of all the xxx's in our modern texts and emails.

Some people seem to throw their xxx's around with gay abandon not to say over-enthusiasm......and it worries me, especially where the different sexes are concerned.

I mean just what is the proper etiquette here? If a female sends me a message and adds an 'x' after their name is it OK for me to 'x' them back or I am being too forward? Does it count as infidelity?

Is it OK for me to 'x' them first time round or is that grounds for divorce? What if I 'x' them and they 'xx' me? Is that a come-on? I need to ask Tiger Woods - he seems to be the expert on these things.

Then there's the whole question of quantity. Presumably a single 'x' is a light peck on the cheek, a double 'xx' is a longer cheek kiss, three 'xxx' would be the same but with an embrace, four 'xxxx' must be a kiss on the lips, five 'xxxxx' will be tongues and any more than that has got to be full on sex.

All I know is that when I email my daughter, I give her 'xxx'. Any more than that might be construed as incestuous!