STRIPES ARE THE NEW PLAIN

It was my birthday recently. Someone bought me socks.

They obviously don't know me very well because they are long socks. I always wear ankle length.

They are made from 71% Cotton, 26% Polyester and 3% Elastane. They clearly didn't know I always wear 100% Cotton.

Worse still, they are striped. Surely they realise I only ever wear plain.

They didn't buy them from Marks and Spencer. I always buy my socks from them.

When I say 'long socks' they are actually boot socks. I'm wearing boots and the new socks work well with them.

The material works perfectly to keep my feet feeling comfortable but not too hot.

As for the stripes. My wife said they look great. Then she said 'Wearing stripy socks is one way for older people to have fun'.

Perhaps the person who gave me them knows me so well that she felt I was stuck in my ways and needed livening up.

Anyway, I'm off out to flash my socks in public. I know how to have a good time. 

NOT A TIME FOR CELEBRATION

Today is my birthday. Naturally I am celebrating it by opening cards and presents, eating a bit too much and drinking a lot too much. Birthdays are a time for celebration just about all over the world.

However this is in some ways a sad day. This is the one day of the year that I cannot celebrate another event. The only day of the entire year that you cannot wish me 'a very merry unbirthday'. 

In case you can't remember, an 'unbirthday' is celebrated on any day that is not the person's actual birthday. It was invented by Lewis Carroll in his 'Through the Looking Glass' and gave rise to "The Unbirthday Song" in the 1951 Disney film 'Alice in Wonderland. 

In the film, Alice encounters the Mad Hatter the March Hare and the dormouse having an unbirthday party and singing "The Unbirthday Song". Alice at first doesn't realise what an unbirthday is and when the Mad Hatter explains, she realises it is her unbirthday as well, and receives an unbirthday cake from the Mad Hatter. 

An 'unbirthday' is a neologism. This may be defined as a newly coined term, word, or phrase, which may be in the process of entering common use, but has not yet been accepted into mainstream language. 

You learn something every day, especially on your unbirthday - speaking of which, I can't wait for my birthday to be over so that I may celebrate my unbirthday.

HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN

I have a theory. I have held it for many years now but I reveal it with some trepidation because I suspect that you will disprove it dear reader.

My theory is simple. I believe that for most people, their favourite time of the year is around their birthday. I don't mean the day itself. I mean the seasonal aspects of that time of year.

In my own case, although I love the energy and vibrance of spring with its bursting new growth; although I love the hot summer sun and the balmy days spent on carefree holidays; although I love the crisp, chilly, wintry days, especially when accompanied with a fresh fall of snow; although I love all these, my favourite time is Autumn. To be more precise, it's the latter days of Autumn when the smoke of fires is on the air and the mists begin to appear.

My birthday is on November 6th and this falls the day after 'Guy Fawkes night'. This is when we celebrate the failure of the Gunpowder plotters in their attempt to blow up our parliament in 1605. Traditionally, this involves a large bonfire and letting off fireworks. Nowadays, this is usually done in large public gatherings but when I was a child, each household tended to do their own bonfire and fireworks - health & safety nightmare! Of course, my birthday celebrations turned into a bonfire and firework party which was the most magical way to spend your birthday as you can imagine.

So that is my theory. I think the reason why it holds true for me and for so many others, is that we never quite forget those childhood days of eager anticipation for the big event of our birthday and the accompanying cards and presents. The falling leaves and misty, smoky days were a harbinger of my special day. I hope your birthdays are as special for you.