NESTING (PART THREE)

Don't start! I can hear your groans from here. I too thought I had finished with this little tale after the denouement in"Nesting (Part two)" in which I revealed that the fidgety little birds nesting in my garage roof space turned out to have been mice (two nests) who had long gone without paying their bill.

However, something odd has occurred without knowledge of which, your life will be a little duller. Furthermore, as you will shortly discover, there will almost certainly need to be a "Nesting (Part Four)". Please curb your unseemly enthusiasm.

On news of the evidence of mice, my wife having smartly withdrawn her offer of help, it was left to me to deal with the situation. I began by taking all the old floor carpet to the dump (no more Mr. Nice Guy) and was then able to drag furniture out of the way so that every inch of the floor could be mopped with neat bleach.

The garage is still warm and dry but a little less cosy than hitherto. Just in case the little chaps decide to check back in to Mouse Hilton, I planned to have a little surprise waiting in the form of mousetraps. Being me, this required a certain amount of research and whilst dining with friends, I brought up the subject of my mouse problem which undoubtedly helped with everyone's appetite.

As country dwellers they were experienced in this field... and many other meadows - (sorry - irresistible) and first told me to use peanut butter as bait. They then informed me about hi-tech electronic mousetraps which were more humane than the spring version but cost over 10 times the price. My host went to fetch one to show me which turned out to come complete with dead mouse. I mentally reviewed the elements of the meal we had just eaten.

In the end, I decided to take the cheaper, heartless route and three loaded mouse traps were strategically placed in my garage which I then proceeded to check almost daily. Which brings us to the reason for this piece of writing. Yesterday when I checked the traps, one was missing! Gone without trace. I moved furniture to check underneath and behind it but nothing. Presumably there exists a damaged mouse with mouse trap attached and since I can't believe that there is a hole big enough for this strange creature to escape, it must be there somewhere - surely? Watch this space...

NESTING (PART TWO)

The story so far: I have transformed my garage into a cosy den by installing heat, light and carpets so that I can practise my darts and become a professional player. Well I can dream can't I?

Along with my new found darts interest, I also took up feeding the birds when I retired. (See previous posting). I bought large quantities of bird seed and treats and then of course I needed somewhere to store it. The garage (or 'junk store' as it is more truthfully named) was the answer. Day after day I scooped out the seed and since my deftness with the scoop was matched only by my darts prowess, seed flew about all over my newly laid garage carpet.

The good news was that my darts scoring was improving. I joined a darts team. This meant that I needed even more hours of practice in my garage/den. I had made the garage really warm and cosy now but soon realised that some of my beloved birds had discovered this. Sometimes when I was throwing my darts, I could hear them fidgeting in their nest which was presumably in the roof space of the garage.

Years passed and the junk piled up. My darts area was increasingly under threat as I had to kick clutter out of the way in order to throw. In time there was only one answer. I would have to clear out the garage. My wife offered to help 'if the weather was right' so we waited another year until we finally had a day when the temperature was exactly 19.3 degrees, the cloud cover was broken and the winds were light and balmy.

I started work. 'let me know when you need me' said my wife as she settled down to read her magazines indoors. I took everything except the larger furniture out of the garage so I could sweep the floor. Soon I discovered that I had spilled more bird seed than I thought. It wasn't wasted though. Most of it was just husk so the birds had obviously found it. But what were the strange small black seeds which remained uneaten?

The truth dawned. It wasn't the birds who had been eating the seed it was mice and these were mouse droppings. I gingerly moved furniture away from the walls and looked underneath. I found a mouse nest which I proudly rushed to show my wife like a cat bringing it's owner a dead bird. She immediately withdrew her offer of help.

Shortly afterwards I found a second nest. My guess is that these represented two generations of mice. The mice themselves were long gone. I wondered why. After all, I had laid carpet to provide good nesting material, given them a lovely space heater to keep them warm and cosy and even spilled large quantities of bird seed to keep them well fed.

To be honest, I feel a little hurt at their ingratitude.

NESTING (PART ONE)

I suppose that there are some people who actually keep their car in their garage. How very short-sighted of them. Do they not realise what a valuable commodity a garage is for the storage of all kinds of junk?

I have no such myopic vision. I've been keeping my various garages well stocked with junk for many, many years. Old bits of furniture, wine, garden tools, beer, sun loungers, wine and beer, beach equipment, beer and wine - it's a very long list.

However, when I acquired my present garage it came along with my retirement. Now when some guys retire they buy a Harley or have a pond stocked with coy carp. I'm a little more frugal than that so I decided to put up a dart board. This required a bit more space than is usually available in my garages so the junk was pushed to the edges, or up in the rafters or hung on hooks. Eventually, I had a long, narrow space in which to begin my journey to becoming a professional darts player.

I soon found that my darts were not going where I aimed them. I needed better lighting. The electrician was summoned and soon the dartboard was bathed in light. This didn't improve my scoring though. Then I realised that it was the uncomfortable floor I was standing on that was causing the problem. I found some old but clean carpet and laid it down. It looked odd as a long strip so I expanded it to other areas of the garage. The garage had become a den!

So how come I was still getting low scores? The answer was simple. It was too cold in there. I dragged my wife off to Costco and we returned with a nice shiny space heater plus a large number of essentials which we'd not realised we needed but which my dear wife had discovered whilst I was analysing and comparing the various types of garage heaters.

I switched on the heater and now I had finished feathering my nest. It was warm, dry and very cosy. From this haven of tranquility a new life would spawn. After a hopefully short period of incubation, the world would witness the birth of a new darts phenomenon. Wouldn't it?

Watch this space....