WHAT'S IN STORE?

Before the advent of the motor car the business of travel largely centred on the horse. Whether one sat on the saddle or rode in a cart or carriage, horse-power was the order of the day. 

Just as we require garages to supply our cars with fuel and to repair them when they go wrong, so our ancestors needed a handy blacksmith or farrier to tend to their horses when the need arose.

Horse travel being much less prevalent today we have seen the demise of many of the Farriers and Smiths which were once such a common sight.

The same applies to many other trades which were once common but for which progress has made them unnecessary. For instance not so long ago, no-one would think of leaving home without putting on a hat but now hat shops are a rarity since most people when out and about are happily hatless.

We may  look back on these establishments with nostalgia but time marches on. Farriers became Texaco garages and hat shops and furriers became Primark.

The closing of many familiar high street shops such as Woolworths, Jessops, Blockbuster and the like are merely part of the same process and should not be mourned. 

In time to come, no doubt we shall have local rocket refuelling bays, bionic limb clinics and food pellet dispensers to look forward to.

YOU SHALL HAVE A FISHY ON A LITTLE DISHY

I presume that, rather like those films of lion prides devouring their kill, my caveman forebear having dragged a dead animal back to 43 Cavern Mews, would sit around with his family and after saying Grace would begin with " I'll slash and tear dear ". 

No doubt he would then proceed to carve open the poor creature's belly with his Swiss Army flint shard and pass around pieces of gut, heart and other organs, dripping with delicious warm blood saving the best bits such as those tasty eyeballs for himself. 

In time though, he discovered the Aga and suddenly cooking one's meat became all the vogue with raw meat meals relegated to those occasions when fast food was all he had time for.

I'm sure you would agree with me that eating cooked food was progress. For one thing, we'd never have discovered omelettes if it wasn't for cooking, nor would we have the delights of pizza and there would have been no Macdonalds. Come to think of it... No, I'm sure that cooking was progress.

I was reminded of how far we have come from our caveman days when I read a cookery article about fish dishes in the paper with the customary photo of the completed meal. It was served on the plate with not only its tail intact but also with its eyes, slightly dazed admittedly, still looking at the diner with an unvoiced 'How could you?'

I know I'm a bit squeamish but why on Earth would we want to be reminded that we are about to eat a creature? I mean when we have roast lamb, we don't put a little fluffy lamb's tail on the side of the plate do we?

I rest my knife and fork.

A LOOK IN THE REAR VIEW MIRROR

This morning was chilly and frosty. As I approached my Mini Cooper S Diesel, I pressed the remote unlock on my key fob and then climbed in and switched on the heated seat control. I plugged in my USB memory stick, pressed the 'start' button and drove off to the sound of Adele singing 'Make you feel my love'.

Rewind to a similarly chilly and frosty morning thirty three years ago. I walk up to the door of my Fiat 128 saloon, put the key in the door and unlock it. It being chilly, I pull out the 'choke' button to make the fuel richer while the engine warms up. I must remember to push it in later to save petrol.

I put the key into the ignition and turn it. The engine starts. I root around in my cassette box and choose a tape by Blondie. I push it into the slot and rewind the tape to the beginning. Next I open the ash tray in readiness, pull out a cigarette, for I was a smoker back then, and use the lighter on the dashboard to light it.

I drive off to the sound of Blondie singing 'Heart of Glass' as the inside of the car slowly fills with cigarette smoke.

How times have changed.

SLOW THINKING

Welcome. I mean to start the new year as I left the old one, by continuing my study of history. Do join me.

Let us take a moment to compare our knowledge, or perhaps I should say, our ignorance of atomic theory.

I would guess that like me, you are aware that matter, i.e. everything which we and our surroundings are made of is composed of atoms flying around in a space. These atoms are in turn are made up of a nucleus comprised of protons and neutrons and this nucleus is surrounded by a cloud of electrons. I would also guess that like me, that is about all you know.

Clever scientists have discovered these things using very expensive machines over the last 150 years or so and have shared their findings with the world. Given this, when do you suppose this quote was first spoken?

Nothing exists except atoms and empty space; everything else is opinion.

I am currently engaged in studying history as I mentioned and have discovered that these words were spoken by Democritus, a Greek philosopher, who lived between 460 and 370 B.C. This was when he first formulated his theory that everything was made up of atoms (from the Greek word 'atomos' which means indivisible).

I find it astonishing that someone could have conceived the idea of atoms that long ago. It is perhaps even more amazing that it was then over 2000 years before anyone picked up on the idea and developed it.

We can only hope that as far as knowledge is concerned, mankind now makes up for lost time - better late than never.

A KING-SIZE APOLOGY

I suppose that there can be few things worse than wronging somebody unjustly. Thinking ill thoughts of someone and then discovering that they were entirely innocent of your false accusations is most unpleasant. Thankfully though, if you are big enough to admit your failings, an apology will usually put things to right.

It's a bit tougher if you suspect that they knew nothing of your bad view of them but I have got past such situations on occasion by making a joke of it. However, "I used to think you were such a bore - but now I find you really interesting" probably says more about you than about them.

Toughest of all though are those of whom you had negative feelings but who have now dropped off the perch. Sadly I have today discovered that a man who I thought to be a vain fool may well have been nothing of the kind. I refer to the late King Canute who reigned over us and much of Scandinavia between the 10th and 11th centuries.

It may well be that you, like me, believe that his self-belief in his own power was so warped that he sat on the beach and commanded the waves to stop advancing. Presumably this was until the water reached his mouth when he gargled his command.

Well it seems that King Canute was cuter than this (sorry - irresistible). He was actually demonstrating to his fawning courtiers that he was not as powerful as they reckoned him to be. My apologies then dear Canute both for having thought bad things about you and also for not using your true name (Cnut) throughout this piece for fear of accidentally misspelling it.

TOP HATS AND TALES

I have a fascination for old photographs. I just love looking at scenes of people who died perhaps a hundred years ago and imagining how their lives were back then.

There is one curious thing which I have noticed. When you compare a crowd scene of say 1910 with a crowd scene of 2010 there is one particularly obvious difference in people's dress. In 1910, everyone wore a hat. Ladies wore a wide variety of them and no doubt they were secured by hat pins. Gentlemen wore trilby hats, bowlers, flat caps or if they were real 'toffs' they would be sporting top hats. Schoolboys wore caps unless at public school, in which case top hats were the done thing. Schoolgirls wore bonnets or straw hats.

Clearly wearing a hat was an essential part of your outdoor attire. This meant that when you came indoors every home needed a hat stand to park your 'titfer' on - no longer an essential furnishing item. It also meant that Millinery was a thriving profession but sadly that is no longer the case.

I have a theory about what led to the demise of the hat. As suggested above, the type of hat which one wore was virtually a badge to signify which social class you belonged to. This was never more in evidence than in the classic comedy sketch from 'The Frost Report' on the social classes in which John Cleese as the upper class man is wearing a bowler; Ronnie Barker as the middle class man is wearing a trilby and poor little Ronnie Corbett, wearing a flat cap, 'knew his place'. I firmly believe that people tired of wearing a class badge and sought greater equality in their attire.

Of course, hats actually perform a useful function, namely to keep one's head warm. Mindful of this, I have purchased a rather nifty french style beret to see me through the recent spell of cold weather. I should be grateful, if any of you who know my wife, would see your way to passing comment on how fetching I look in it.

OBJECTS OF DESIRE

Every year around Christmas, we start hearing of the latest 'must have' gadgets. This year there were the usual game consoles and the new games to play on them. There were the state of the art Blackberries and other mobile phones with the Apple iPhone at the top of most people's wish lists. We mustn't forget the various mp3 players or iPods to enable us to listen to music on the move. Then there were the most recent variations of SatNavs to help us know where we are. Finally, a mesmerising choice of computers in a wide range of sizes, many of which are portable.

Technology has leapt forward in the last century and continues to do so at an alarming pace and the list above really only begins to scratch at the surface of what is available.

Join me for a moment in casting a thought back to earlier times and considering what the Victorian equivalent of the Porsche might have been, or the Georgian version of the computer.

Our ancestors in the times prior to electricity, would have coveted the most fashionable pocket watch perhaps, or a telescope to gaze at the heavens. Quill pens would have been sought after since the fountain pen was not invented until 1884. The 1880's also saw the invention of the first camera and so prior to this, artists were in great demand to create paintings and perhaps cameos of loved ones since the daguerrotype images were not very clear.

Sedan chairs and horse-drawn carriages would have been the forerunners of our modern day cars and penny farthing bicycles would have been on many people's Christmas list after 1871 when they came into being.

I find it fascinating to consider the range of Christmas gifts which would have been all the rage back in the 19th century. Snuff boxes, ornamental pipes and tobacco pouches, sewing accessories and hatpins for the ladies, hoop and stick or jack-in-the-boxes for the children.

It is amusing to think that if we were able to leave an iPhone in a Victorian gentleman's Christmas stocking, he would probably consider it to be a very poor shaving mirror!