Sunday, 31 January 2010


It had to happen sooner or later. I've got rid of the lady in my life. There was nothing wrong with her - it was just time to move on. Anyway, it's not as if we'll never see each other again. I've put her in a cupboard in case I might have need of her in the future. Her name was 'Helga' and she was my SatNav lady.

My wife and I were very fond of her. Although she apparently has a Dutch accent, we named her 'Helga' and she really became part of our family. She guided us through many of our journeys in life, only occasionally leading us into a dead end. Most notably, she helped some friends and ourselves travel the length and breadth of Norway. Since then, those friends often sign off letters and emails with 'Love to you both and to Helga'.

But now I have a new car and the SatNav is built-in so Helga has become redundant. This has given us the problem of finding a name for our new lady. She has a pleasant, 'plummy' and very English accent and so far, the top of our list of names for her is 'Wanda'. Any other suggestions?

Did I mention that I find her voice very sexy? Perhaps I am suffering from Wanda lust.


  1. TBH, Tony, the first thing I do with a new satnav is turn the voice off. The accent is as irrelevant as the choice is clear - no bl**dy annoying voice or no satnav.

  2. Sounds like a |Marilyn to me LOL

  3. I just knew that Joe would have a suggestion, LOL... how 'bout Trixie? LMAO....