ANOTHER X-RATED POST

Oh goody it's election time! Why am I so gleeful about what for some must be the most boring occasion imaginable? Well I have to confess that I take an almost perverse pleasure in watching our politicians squirm in their efforts to appear reasonable, good-humoured, affable, pleasant in fact there is a long list of qualities none of which come naturally to politicians.

In the case of this election, there is the added joy of it being a very close race not just between the two 'main' parties but the third party have suddenly given themselves a fighting chance too thanks to winning the first 'leaders' debate on television. It's such fun to watch the main contenders deciding how to handle this. Should they woo the third party or rubbish them?

When the canvassers knock on my door and ask whether they can count on my vote I usually wimp out and tell them that my vote is my business. However, I have a cunning plan to tell anyone who asks in future that they can tick me off as a supporter so that none of them will bother me ever again.

I am what is commonly called a floater and no I'm not using toilet humour here for once. In my 45 years of voting, I have at various times voted for all three main parties. I become totally anal and listen to their views, read their policies and compare how they propose to handle the issues of the economy, education, world affairs, home affairs etc. and then I weigh them up against each other to see who is offering the flavour of ice cream which most satisfies my desires. Oops, I've lapsed into food talk yet again.

But seriously, it is a little like watching street traders vying for our custom. "Who will buy my oranges?" 'Cherries ripe..cherries ripe" don't you think?

I am still undecided although for me it is a choice of two this time around. So I shall continue to watch, listen and read with interest until I have made a thoroughly informed decision about who to vote for.

The only thing which galls me is the suspicion that my vote will be cancelled out by first-time voter Chardonnay, who has decided to vote for the party whose colour matches her new nail varnish!