Wednesday, 26 December 2012


OK so you've presented your presents, pulled a cracker, gobbled the turkey and stuffed yourself with stuffing. I'm guessing that the cracker jokes weren't too good.

Help is at hand - try this small selection from The Guardian which were printed in 2009 ...

What's the slogan for the Eskimo lottery?
'You've got to be Inuit to win you it!' 
- Alistair McGowan

A French Cat, Un Deux Trois, and an English cat, One Two Three, went for a swimming race round a lake. Who won?
One Two Three, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinque. 
- Jo Brand

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre…
So the barman gives her one. 
- Meera Syal

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your pyjamas?
Your mum. 
- Jeremy Dyson, The League Of Gentlemen

Why did the turkey cross the road?
Are you kidding? It's Christmas – he should run a bloody mile. 
- Stephen K Amos

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