Wednesday, 21 August 2013


I've just been down to Brighton,
I went there to play bridge.
It was peeing down with rain
And colder than a fridge.

Despite the dreadful weather
It's a very lovely place.
I got to my hotel room 
And then unpacked my case.

I looked out of the window
But saw no sand or sea
Just the lady in the next door flat.
Who was staring back at me.

I quickly turned my back on her,
Went out and locked the door.
Though we'd had some food an hour ago
I fancied a bit more.

Later, having had my fill
Of chips and battered plaice,
I went back to my bedroom, 
Brushed my teeth and washed my face.

Then, having eaten all that food
I sat upon the loo,
Adopting the position
For what I had to do.

Given my situation,
Imagine my surprise, 
When I looked up, across the room
To see that lady's eyes.

The moral of this sorry tale
Is very plain to see
Make sure you draw the curtains
When you sit to poo or wee.

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