Wednesday, 4 September 2013


Masking tape (noun): A roll of adhesive tape used as an aid when painting to cover areas where paint is not required.

I beg to differ.

I can assure you that the roll of masking tape which I purchased was merely masquerading as 'an aid to painting'. In reality it was a diabolical instrument of utter frustration which doubled the length of time which the job took and left us wishing we had employed a professional.

It was a small, simple task. My wife had decided that the blue garage door which she had happily looked upon for some seven years, had become offensive. The blue colour clashed with our garden palette of purples and pinks and as a result it had to go. 

The newly approved colour was a silvery grey to blend in with the mortar of the garage walls. It was duly purchased along with the 'tape' which dearly beloved applied in the appointed manner along the edges where the glass window met the wooden door.

Paint was liberally applied - an undercoat and two coats of gloss and some hours later we had reached the dénouement when the tape would be ripped away to reveal the perfect, clean lines of the newly refurbished door.

It was not to be. 

When we pulled the tape, it tore off in small, jagged strips which became ever smaller as we continued in our vain efforts to remove it. When the strips were removed, they left a thick film of gooey adhesive which had become so lovingly attached to the glass that they refused to be parted from it.

Suffice to say that it took us as long to remove all traces of the masking tape as it had done to paint the wretched door. 

In truth it would have been far easier and quicker to have painted the window along with the door and then cleaned off the paint.

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