FRACK OFF

I don't often get political but sometimes it just seems to be a case of stating the bleeding obvious. So here I go once again demonstrating why I'm not in Westminster.

What the frack is Fracking?

It's drilling for natural gas. Fracking technology makes  it possible to drill both vertically and horizontally to tap into natural gas reserves that were previously inaccessible. Most experts view natural gas as the most important fuel for the future.

What Are its Advantages?

Natural gas releases much less carbon into the atmosphere than coal. The improved drilling methods for natural gas can slow the progression of global warming. Natural gas plants are also relatively cheap to build.

What Are its Disadvantages?

Fracking can cause very small earthquakes with the possibility of minor structural damage. Some experts believe these quakes actually relieve pressure that could have caused larger future earthquakes. There is an issue regarding the disposal of contaminated water from the fracking process. There can also be land rights issues. 

We cannot survive as a modern society without energy. It is essential. That being so, eventually we shall have to ignore green issues to obtain it. So let's get the frack on with it.

WHERE'S MY GUILLOTINE?

I've just returned from a most wonderful stay in Annecy, France. This event was part of the twinning between Cheltenham and Annecy and was an exchange between Annecy and Cheltenham bridge clubs. 

Our hosts had been over to stay with us last year and it was lovely to meet them again and be the recipients of their very generous hospitality. We English were a group of eleven.

There were bridge competitions of course, plus various excursions to see the sights both of the beautiful town of Annecy and also of the amazing Savoie region with its snow-capped mountains and stunning scenery.

Of course there were also numerous meals to enjoy and plenty of wine flowing freely. On these occasions, there were sometimes as many as ninety people present. We sang, we told stories, we made lots of new friends and had one hell of a good time.

I couldn't help feeling though, if the citizens of these two great countries could get on so well together, how come the politicians can't do the same?

Now, where did I leave my guillotine?

PARTY TIME

We have witnessed a furore over the appearance of the leader of the BNP (British National Party) on BBC's Question Time. The BNP for anyone who may not know, is a cuddly sort of right-wing, neo-fascist, heavily racist political party. There were furious protests that Nick Whatisname should not have been given airtime and that the programme gave the BNP valuable and dangerous publicity.

Well, given that we are a nation who believes in free speech, I for one would defend the BBC for allowing it. However, I have grave reservations about the way they handled it. By bullying him and not allowing him enough chance to speak and dig his own grave, they appear to have awarded him martyrdom status in the eyes of some people. I watched the programme and Nutty Nick came across as a sleazy, slimy weasel of a bloke - so he'd fit into British politics just fine at the moment with all the scandal over their expenses.

I was prompted to take a peek at the BNP website and check out their policies and based on this, in the interest of balance after Question Time gave Nick Niceguy such a bad time, I present a list of 10 GOOD things about the BNP for your consideration.

1. Unlike the other parties, they have no MPs fiddling their expenses because....well because thankfully, they have no MPs.

2. Their name, BNP, is easily mis-googled (click link).

3. They are able to re-write history - apparently the holocaust didn't happen. So we could get them to tell us how we stalwart Brits repelled the Romans and the Vikings for instance. (Update: Nick Thingy may be changing his mind on this one).

4. Since Nick Numpty was sporting a poppy, he obviously believes in remembering the valour shown by the many nationalities who helped us win the second world war, blacks, gurkas etc.

5. They'll bring back the birch and give those naughty schoolkids a darn good thrashing.

6. (This is a quote from their website because you won't believe me otherwise) - they will use 'electronically tagged chain gangs to improve coastal defences'. That should keep us safe from those nasty Somali pirates!

7. We'll be able to have machine guns in our homes (quote 'any means of defence') to protect ourselves from burglars. ('Pass me my Uzi darling').

8. The candle industry will be given a huge boost because the BNP will remove overhead power lines.

9. They will put a stop to the 'spineless subservience to the USA'. Of course there will be a slight drawback to this in that the tourist industry will collapse - but then it only brings in a paltry £85 billion.

10. Nick Nobody is such a friendly, handsome and charismatic leader that he will undoubtedly attract masses of votes at the next election.