TELL THE WORLD

Has this ever happened to you? There I was, bouncing along merrily, buoyant with the prospects of the day ahead when I turned the page of my newspaper (The Times) and read something so appalling that I could think of little else for a long time afterwards.

The incident I speak of took place in Afghanistan, that hotbed of calm, justice and serenity and concerns a lady named Gulnaz. When she was a married woman aged 19, she was brutally raped and became pregnant thereafter. She now has an infant daughter and the good news is that eventually, her attacker was caught and convicted.

The bad news? Despite being an innocent victim of this crime, Gulnaz was given a 12 year jail sentence for adultery along with her child and in order to secure herself an early release she has been made to marry the rapist.

Like me, I'm sure that your jaw just hit the floor. The only thing that we can do for people like Gulnaz is to keep talking about her. Tell the world that we find this type of inhumanity totally unacceptable.

If I have brought Gulnaz' story to just one person who hadn't heard about it before then I am content.

IT'S A STEAL

I was reading recently about local crime in my area where it seems that the theft of metal is on the increase. This got me to thinking about what other things get stolen and there were quite a few oddities.

For instance, there was the case of Piotr Gorski, a Polish burglar, who stole twelve jars of gherkins. When he was a few streets away, he started to gorge himself on his ill gotten gains but began to choke on them so not only got arrested but had to be life-saved too.

Then how about Felicidad Noriega, former first lady of Panama, who was charged with stealing twenty seven buttons off jackets at a local store.

They usually say 'everything but the kitchen sink' but in the case of poor James Elstub from Dewsbury, the thieves took that too along with the rest of his new kitchen.

One of the weirdest crimes though must be the theft of human hair from hair salons in America. Apparently it sells for as much as $100 a bundle.

Next time I go to the hairdresser, I think I'll take my hair clippings back home with me!

SORRY FOR MY LOSS

Just when I think all is well in my life - Wham! I get my wallet pinched.

After exhaustive searches it is clear that it fell out of my pocket in one of two places. In both cases, there is a nearby office where it could have been handed in, so since they didn't do that it's clear that someone has found it and kept it. They may have taken the cash and tossed the rest away or may have set to using my credit cards and proof of identity cards and the worry for me is that I don't know which.

What did I lose? Well the biggest loss is two precious photos of my wife and daughter which I had no copies of. This reminds me of the advice which the Australian government gave out during the bush fires to people about to flee their homes. The advice was to grab your photos as a priority, because most other stuff can be replaced.

They also got some cash - I don't know how much, various credit cards and membership cards, my bus pass and driving licence.

What do they now know about me? They know I'm a "senior" and they know what I look like. They know my address and birthdate. They know I play darts and bridge, belong to the National Trust and the R.A.C.

What do I know about them? I know that the person who found my wallet is a thieving piece of dog's mess.