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This one is a phrase I use a lot. 

When I want to say 'absolutely everything', an alternative is to say 'the whole kit and caboodle'. It's a common phrase and I hear it used a lot.

What puzzles me slightly is what it was about this particular phrase which so caught the imagination that it is still in popular use well over a hundred years after it was coined.

First things first - what does it literally mean?

Well 'the whole kit' means a set of items, like a toolkit, or what a soldier would keep in his kit-bag. A 'caboodle' (or just 'boodle') - is an archaic term meaning a group or collection, normally of people.

Origins are certainly American and certainly from the early 19th century but the first use of the phrase in the way we use it was this:

From the Syracuse Sunday Standard, New York, Nov, 1884:

"More audiences have been disappointed by him and by the whole kit-and-caboodle of his rivals."

The reasons why the phrase came to be used in this way are rather sketchy so if anyone knows the full details please let me know - then I shall have the whole kit and caboodle.

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I suppose we all have relatives who are, shall we say, less welcome guests than others. 

My Grandmother used to say of my uncle, 'he always turns up like a bad penny'. Most people know the phrase but what does it mean and what are its origins?

One wrong suggestion which I've encountered is that it is to do with tossing a coin. Because there is a version of the phrase which goes 'a bad penny always turns up' some think it means that a bad penny keeps being heads or tails instead of giving a 50-50 chance.

The actual origin is at least from the 18th century when pennies were valuable coins. This made them juicy targets for counterfeiters, and discovering that you had such a counterfeit coin, a “bad” penny, was very annoying.  

The best solution if you got a “bad penny” was to try to spend it quickly and hope that the shopkeeper wouldn't notice it.  

Unfortunately though, because so many people were trying to use their “bad pennies” this way, the odds of encountering one, or even the very same one you had got rid of a week earlier, were quite high.  Thus “bad penny” became an idiom meaning “an unwanted thing that keeps showing up.”

Just like my Uncle used to do.

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I used to pride myself on being able to read Chaucer in the old English with an accent which hopefully, our beloved Geoffrey would have recognised.

I had fun practising on the original of this phrase: 'Every little helps'. Still in common use today and the meaning is very clear but the origin?

Well as far as I can discover it was:

'Every little helps said the wren when she pissed in the sea.' 

A wren of course is a very tiny bird but her little contribution helped to keep up the sea levels.

But in 1623 the olde English version was:

'Euery thing helpes, quoth the Wren when she pist i' the sea.'

Even earlier in 1602 they seem to have been a little more reluctant to use the bawdy words so we had:

'The wrenn sayde all helpte when she — in the sea.'

See what a prudish nation we used to be.

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Imagine for a moment that you are in polite company. Perhaps with an elderly female relative or someone who you need to impress.

You drop something or knock something over. Its only a minor mishap but a comment is needed. What is the first thing that comes to mind?

I suggest that it would be one of the variants of 'Whoops-a daisy'. Other versions are Upsidaisy, Upsa daesy, Upsy-daisy, Oops-a-daisy, Oopsy-daisy or Hoops-a-daisy. 

What on Earth are we saying this for? Where did it come from?

Well it seems that the original version was the 'Ups a daesy' type which was child-friendly language to assist them in jumping up in the air or over something. It goes back to the 1700's.

If the unfortunate child were to fall over then 'whoops-a daisy' is appropriate.

Of course, if the origin of 'whoops-a-daisy' is of little interest to you then you'll be feeling lackadaisical about it - but that's another story.

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My Gran was sometimes a bit of a curtain-twitcher, if truth be told, keeping a close eye on the neighbours and their activities.

One lady was frequently the object of her attention. When the said lady was going out somewhere special and wearing her best clothes, Gran would mutter about 'mutton dressed up as lamb'.

The meaning of the phrase is quite clear - that she was trying to appear younger than she actually was.

Originally it was not derogatory. The term is first found in print in 1811 in the journal of social gossip by Mrs Frances Calvert.

"Someone the other day asked the Prince of Wales at the Ancient Music whether he did not think some girl pretty. 'Girl!' answered he, 'Girls are not to my taste. I don't like lamb; but mutton dressed like lamb!'."

Nowadays though, it suggests that a woman is deluded and thinks herself attractive in clothes usually worn by much those much younger.

Of course, it doesn't need to apply exclusively to females. When I don my red trousers, perhaps I'm ram dressed up as lamb.

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Let's be honest. Not all 'wise' old sayings are true. They don't necessarily have any wisdom within.

For instance - "You can't have your cake and eat it". How stupid is that? If I've just bought myself a tasty chocolate eclair what am I going to do with it other than eat it? I can promise you no-one else is going to eat it but me. The saying is trying to say 'you can't have it both ways' but this is a pretty daft way of phrasing it.

Then there's "Children should be seen and not heard". How Victorian is that? With most kids today the only way you're going to achieve this is by taping up their mouths.

Then you have the ones which disagree with each other like "Look before you leap" and "He who hesitates is lost". To dither or not to dither - that is the question.

Finally we have "An apple a day keeps the doctor away". Rubbish. I tried leaving an apple at the doctor's surgery every day for a month. He was round at my place complaining as soon as he discovered it was me who kept cluttering up his surgery with them.

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I've always thought it a curious phrase to say that 'you can't make bricks without straw' because of course - you can. In fact, to put it bluntly, bricks are not normally made with straw.

The meaning of the phrase is straightforward though. It means that you need the proper materials to be able to do a job properly. In this respect it's rather similar to Churchill's famous line, 'give us the tools and we'll finish the job'.

So why is it suggested that you need straw to make bricks? 

The answer is that back in Moses' time you did. His people were enslaved in Egypt and were forced to make bricks for their captors. Adding straw to the bricks, which were made from river clay, helped them to dry quicker.

When Moses appealed to the Egyptians to free his people, they obstinately refused and as a punishment, stopped giving them straw but still demanded the same production levels. In time of course, God helped them gain their freedom because quite simply, they couldn't make bricks without straw.

They might however, have been able to make hay while the sun shone.

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The list of things which I would quite like to have is very long indeed. 

The list of things which I would very much like to have is a little shorter. 

Shorter still is the list of items which I desperately yearn to have.

There is an odd little phrase for this. A thing which you absolutely pine for is often said to be something which you would "give your eye teeth for".

Now I don't know about you but my eyes don't have teeth. Neither do my teeth have eyes. So what on Earth does the saying mean?

Well it dates back to at least 1657 when it was used in "Nature's Cabinet Unlock'd" by Thomas Browne. 

As to its meaning, it would seem that it refers to the upper and lower canine teeth for the simple reason that they are in line with the eye sockets, being positioned directly below them.

Well eye never.

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The other day I was watching 'Sarah and Duck' with Emily, my granddaughter. In case you didn't know, this is required viewing for one-year olds or aged grandfathers. 

Anyway, poor Sarah was ill in bed suffering from a cold and duck was doing his best to cheer her up. Sarah was described as being 'under the weather'. This is a well known and well used saying which I hadn't given much thought to before but once you stop to consider it, it seems an odd turn of phrase. 

Obviously it means to be feeling unwell but what has this got to do with the weather?

The answer it seems, is that the phrase has a nautical origin. In olden days when sailors were ill, they were sent below decks to recover and to be under (i.e. away from) the weather. 

It can also apply to passengers who feel sea-sick and need to go below decks to feel better. 

Presumably if they feel under the weather they go below until they feel over it.

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I recall that when my grandmother heard or read something joyous in the news, she would say that 'it warms the cockles of your heart'.

Now personally I never have and never could eat a cockle, but of course we all know that cockles are bivalve molluscs which are often eaten as a seaside snack. How could they have anything to do with your heart? 

The answer is that they probably don't have a lot to do with it. 

The cockles of the heart are very likely its ventricles, which are called in Latin "cochleae cordis", from "cochlea" (snail), alluding to their shape.

Additionally, the cockle genus is called 'Cardium' from the Latin for 'heart'.

Finally, if you look at a cockle from the side, it is heart-shaped.

Ahh. After writing this the cockles of my heart feel lovely and toastie.

Image courtesy of [SOMMAI] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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At my time of life one finds oneself attending far too many funerals. Friends, family and acquaintances of advancing years all too frequently 'shrug off this mortal coil', 'drop off the perch' or in the idiom which I currently feature 'kick the bucket'.

'Kick the bucket' is a very commonly used phrase. The origins as so often are unclear but here are some of those which find greatest favour.

Theory 1 is that it comes from a method of execution such as hanging, while standing on an overturned bucket. When the bucket is kicked away, the victim is hanged.

Theory 2 relates to the alternate definition of a bucket as a beam or yoke that can be used to hang or carry things on.

Theory 3 states that the "bucket" may refer to the beam on which slaughtered pigs are suspended. The animals may struggle on the bucket, hence the expression.

Theory 4 suggests that the origin of the phrase comes from the Catholic custom of holy-water buckets. 

After death, when a body had been laid out, the holy-water bucket was brought from the church and put at the feet of the corpse. 

If the death is anticipated, the bucket is placed in readiness and at the moment of death a person stretches his legs and might kick the bucket placed there.

Anyway I for one will be steering well clear of buckets for a long time yet.

A WORD OF ADVICE

If we can believe what we read in the papers, we are soon to have an influx of East European immigrants. 

If you are one of these newcomers, welcome. You are probably finding our language a bit hard to learn so here are a few tips to help you.

Let's start with pronunciation. If a word ends in '...ough' it is pronounced 'off' as in cough. Unless of course it is pronounced 'uff' as in rough or else when it is pronounced 'ow' as in bough.

If a word begins with a 'g' you say 'g' as in gun or 'j' as in gem.  

Words ending in '...ear' are pronounced 'eer' as in beer or sometimes 'air' as in pear.

I hope that's clear. This poem explains everything: 

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Gerald Nolst Trenite (1870-1946)

Finally  a few spelling tips. A very good rule is 'i' before 'e' except after 'c'. So friend has 'i' before 'e' but ceiling has 'e' before 'i' because it comes after 'c'. Of course if you are foreign then 'e' comes before 'i'. Is that sufficient? Note that here it is 'i' before 'e' even though it's after 'c'.

To make a word plural add 's' to the end as in book-books or bag-bags. Don't do this for sheep though. Or deer or child or man or foot or tooth etc.

Remember, English is very difficult as this popular piece demonstrates:

WHY ENGLISH IS SO HARD TO LEARN

We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
This was a good time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I read it once and will read it agen
I learned much from this learned treatise.
I was content to note the content of the message.
The Blessed Virgin blessed her. Blessed her richly.
It's a bit wicked to over-trim a short wicked candle.
If he will absent himself we mark him absent.
I incline toward bypassing the incline.

Good luck!