Friday, 10 April 2009


Greetings Earthlings.
My name is Suqhjerzn (pronounced Sukqhr-rizzqh-xzn) - but you may call me 'Sue'.
I come from the planet Suqkrzx which is very similar to your planet in that it is ruled by the women but like you, we brainwash our males into thinking that they are in charge.

You may be wondering how I am able to communicate with you in your language. The answer is that we infiltrated your 'Internet' and then Googled 'Translate from Suqkrzxish to English'. It is an impressive search engine!

You have had a lucky escape. We were going to take over the Earth and use you as servants in our mighty empire. However, we have discovered that you possess a quality which we cannot explain and which we cannot therefore control. You call it 'Humour'.

You have suffered many disasters which caused untold misery to your people and yet your response was to make statements which cause strange facial expressions accompanied by loud noises - I believe you term this 'laughing'. A few examples will suffice.

When you fired a puny rocket towards space and it exploded somebody said that one of the astronauts had blue eyes - one blew right and one blew left.

After terrorists flew two planes into high buildings there was a line 'New York, New York - so good they hit it twice'.

Only recently, when many died through an earthquake in Europe, a human said he was thinking of offering Italy the services of his ex-wife because she was brilliant at finding faults.

If you as a race can turn disaster into something to laugh at you are immune to our threats. Humans - we salute you!

1 comment:

  1. we in Norn Iron have always got by in bad times with the darkest of humour its not callous its coping