Monday, 18 May 2009


I confess to being a bit of a foodie. I like to dine out a lot. Luckily, my wife shares my interest. In the better restaurants they often have the cooking area on show. This gives the customer a feeling of confidence in the hygiene and in the food quality of the establishment. But in addition to that it usually starts me thinking about how glad I am that I'm not a chef. As I see them toiling away in all that heat, I am very thankful that they chose to do the job and I'm very appreciative of the outcome!

Being a chef is not the worst job in the world though. I am also grateful to the many other people who have chosen to do jobs which I directly benefit from but which I would never want to do myself.

Lets consider a few examples. The guys who collect my refuse - working with rubbish all day surely can't be too pleasant! My dentist is well paid but in my view he deserves it. Just think about doing a job where you stare down people's mouths all day and no doubt suffer the effects of the bad breath many of them will have. Then there are the toilet cleaners who have worked hard to ensure that my visits to the Gentlemen's loo are as pleasant as possible. We've all cleaned our own toilets but there's a big difference when you're cleaning them after strangers have used them.

This started me thinking deeper about what are the worst jobs ever. I considered people who work in the fish industry. I know that the smell of fish can seep into your very pores and give you a social problem! Then I thought of sewer workers and how they are so necessary but are a level lower in job satisfaction than the toilet cleaners since they deal directly with the waste matter and maybe even with rats.

I was getting really curious now so took to the Internet which suggested various possibilities to fill the 'worst job' title. How about working in a blue cheese factory? As with fish, this must surely destroy your sense of smell as your body puts up aroma defences in earnest. Then there was the poor guy who told of his job cleaning chicken shit off eggs. No, on reflection, I think I could do that job because you can wear protective gear to distance yourself from the guano.

Then I found it. OMG! This has to take the biscuit. The worst job ever was here in front of me. Ladies and Gentlemen, I invite you to apply for the position of....wait for it.....Flatulence Analyst ! I kid you not! Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to bend down so your nose is by someone's backside and then ask them to fart! You proceed by breathing in their fart and making notes on your smell experience which will be used in the study of farts as an indicator of intestinal problems. No, I won't be applying.

Yet somehow, I suspect that you dear reader, will come up with something even worse in your comments!

1 comment:

  1. Ewwwww! See what happens when you start to wonder.

    And btw, have you ever seen the show, "Dirty Jobs"?