FISHY TALE

I hate to let facts get in the way of a good story. You may have heard of the striped mittenfish. No? How remiss of you. Well the story goes that this is a recently discovered deep water fish which lives near Java where the coffee comes from. Please stop yawning or at least put your hand in front of your mouth when doing so. Trust me this is an interesting fish.

The story goes on to say that this incredible creature can change its sex at will by turning itself inside out. I cannot find corroboration for the story but I just love the concept. Just imagine if you will what this would be like for humans.

You would wake up and think 'what sex shall I be today?' Actually this is a no-brainer. On waking I would definitely be a male. We take a lot less time to get ready in the morning. I'd remain male for breakfast because I prefer a cooked breakfast to the rabbit food which women seem to eat.

Then it's off to the shops. I would change into a woman before leaving the house just so that I could drive a pink convertible car and also because male drivers would give way to me as I whizz around with my long blonde hair streaming in the wind.

On arrival at the shops I would pop into the loo to change back into the male sex. There are two main reasons for this. Firstly there's always a queue for the ladies' toilets and secondly men can get their shopping done so much quicker.

Having got my purchases I'd probably go female again so that I could go and get pampered somewhere. Nothing too grand, just a facial, Indian head massage, quick visit to the nail bar, back massage and pedicure.

The more I think about this ability to change sex at will, the more I like it. Except for one thing. When changing from male to female. Where would I put the spare half of my brain?

*Ducks quickly :)