THE JURY IS OUTRAGED

They say that there are two sides to every story. But then, my grandmother always used to say that 'They Say' are dreadful liars.

The jury's task is to hear both sides and then decide who is lying. You are the jury.

First we have the case of Nigella Lawson apparently being throttled by her husband in public. The police interviewed and cautioned him and Nigella has since left home with the children. The photos seem clear enough and this was not the first time it had happened. However, her husband states that: 

"There was no grip, it was a playful tiff...Nigella's tears were because we both hate arguing, not because she had been hurt...We had made up by the time we were home. The paparazzi were congregated outside our house after the story broke yesterday morning, so I told Nigella to take the kids off till the dust settled."

The second case is that of Ian Brady (AKA The moors murderer) who along with Myra Hindley was convicted of murdering five children, at least four of whom were sexually assaulted in the mid '60's. Hindley died in 2002 and Brady was declared insane in 1985. 

He says that he is not insane but that his crimes were:

"an existential exercise, personal philosophy and interpretation... His behaviour was petty compared to politicians and soldiers in relation to wars".

Your verdict please. Me? I'm just sitting here on this fence watching the pigs fly by.