Sunday, 22 January 2012


I have a friend who lives in Northern Ireland. He comes over here to the UK regularly and does so by plane. Basically he uses planes like other people use buses. I could no more do that than stand on my head. I just hate flying.

Many of my intrepid aviator friends cannot understand this. Perhaps you are amongst them. Let me try to explain.

There was a well-known catch phrase from the cult sci-fi TV series 'Star Trek' which was 'Beam me up Scotty'. This was a command to be teleported back to the starship enterprise from whichever planet the crew were currently interfering with at the time.

Just think about teleportation for a moment. If you were offered to be teleported from say London to New York in ten seconds would you try it? Suppose we ask a for a few more details.

'Oh yes Sir. Teleportation is the quickest way to travel. The teleporter scans your body and records your personal cell pattern. It then disassembles your body, whisks you to your choice of destination and reassembles you exactly as you were.

Side effects? Well some people report a temporary dizziness and occasionally it may trigger a headache but that's it.

Accidents? Let me assure you that teleportation is statistically the safest way to travel compared to all other methods. True, a very few people have failed to reassemble and their cells are now drifting around the cosmos but the vast majority arrive safely.'

So will you be stepping into the teleportation chamber or hopping on the jumbo jet? Me - I'll be catching the bus.


  1. I've had "Jim Beam" do a lot of "beaming" I found it disassembles your body, whisks you to not your choice of destinations and reassembles you not exactly as you were.

  2. haha I am with Joe Todd and Jim Beam on this one too ;O)

  3. I have to admit that the older I get, the more uneasy I am with air travel. But I still prefer it over car travel for the long hauls.